About This Book This is a magical diary, which should be a wondrous thing, but in reality it is a living nightmare. Every time I, Loki, god of mischief, record my deeds inside its pages, the diary calculates my so-called virtue score. This calculation rarely goes in my favor. And to make matters worse, if I stray ever so slightly from the truth, it corrects me. I have to put up with such nonsense because this diary is programmed with the so-called wisdom of smelly bum-bum Odin. Correction: Odin does not have a smelly bum-bum. HA! Victory! I made the diary say "smelly bum-bum"! Anyway. I have been sent to Midgard, which you peasants call Earth, as punishment for cutting off the goddess Sif's hair.

The conditions of my punishment are that I must take the form of a mortal child and refrain from displaying my amazing godly powers. Luckily, I've discovered a loophole: as long as mortals don't SEE me transforming into various animals and beings, I can do it as often as I like. This is, irritatingly, true. Accompanying me are my fake family: Thor, Hyrrokkin, and Heimdall. This is what I have done on Earth so far . Discovered the horrors of mortal school. Made two mortal friends. Valerie Georgina Defeated many Frost Giants! (Well, the same ones twice.

) Woo-hoo! Oh no! Woo-hoo! Oh no! And received magical gifts . BECAUSE I AM AWESOME and a Good God(tm) now. A GIANT'S GUIDE TO MAGIC SPELLS FOR BEGINNERS Wand Lie detected. You were NOT given the book (and by extension the wand) because you are "awesome" and a Good God(tm) now. Hyrrokkin said that you "still have far to go and a lot to learn." Harrumph. I guess that's why I'm still stuck here .