Introduction RULE 1 Accept that people are annoying RULE 2 Accept that even bosses can be annoying RULE 3 Don't use corporate flubber RULE 4 Don't deliberately confuse audiences RULE 5 Be prepared for things to go off the rails RULE 6 Think less RULE 7 Abandon irrelevant meetings RULE 8 Beware technology in meetings RULE 9 Do something. Anything RULE 10 Do nothing RULE 11 Don't procrastinate RULE 12 Care, but don't care RULE 13 Suck up, but don't suck up RULE 14 Don't freak out RULE 15 Jolly others (and yourself) along RULE 16 Pretend to be disciplined RULE 17 Don't complain RULE 18 Don't weaponise CC RULE 19 Double-check emails before sending RULE 20 Don't eat pretzels on the toilet RULE 21 Use empty platitudes to cushion negative feedback RULE 22 Don't get caught slagging people off RULE 23 Make a decision RULE 24 Have a purpose RULE 25 Don't shag the boss RULE 26 Check whether casual Fridays are actually casual RULE 27 Don't get (too) drunk at work events RULE 28 Use deodorant RULE 29 Don't be upset by constructive criticism RULE 30 Train like an athlete to tackle approvals RULE 31 Don't resist change RULE 32 Have a side project RULE 33 Take a cosmic perspective RULE 34 Don't squander time RULE 35 Say no RULE 36 Keep expectations low to avoid disappointment RULE 37 Listen more RULE 38 Don't employ toxic people RULE 39 Embrace team-building days (no matter how excruciating) RULE 40 Keep expectations low with presentations and spreadsheets RULE 41 Don't boast about work on social media RULE 42 Minimise desk clutter RULE 43 Remember, work happiness lies between fear and boredom RULE 44 Eat with caution RULE 45 Be likeable, but not too likeable RULE 46 Bring yourself to work, but not your whole self RULE 47 Manage your ego RULE 48 Resign well RULE 49 Win Lotto Notes Acknowledgements.