We live in a technological universe in which we are always communicating and yet we have sacrificed conversation for mere connection. We turn away from each other and toward our phones. We are forever elsewhere. But to empathize, to grow, to love and be loved, to take the measure of ourselves or of another, to fully understand and engage with the world around us, we must be in conversation. It is the most human - and humanizing - thing that we do. Preeminent media researcher Sherry Turkle has been studying digital culture and communication for more than thirty years. Long an enthusiast for its possibilities, here she investigates a troubling consequence. Our passion for technology tempts us away from face-to-face conversation, but conversation is a cornerstone for empathy as well as for democracy; it sustains the best in education and in business it is good for the bottom line.

We see the costs of the flight from conversation everywhere. At the dinner table, children compete with phones for their parents' attention. Friends learn new strategies to keep conversations going as their peers raise and lower their eyes to check their phones. At work we retreat to our screens, although it is conversation at the water cooler that increases productivity and commitment. Online, we want to share opinions that our followers will agree with - a politics that shies away from the real conflicts and solutions of the public square. Always connected, we see loneliness as a problem that technology should solve. The necessary conversations of solitude and self-reflection are endangered. We rely on other people to give us a sense of ourselves even as our capacity for empathy and relationship suffers.

The moment is urgent, but there is good news: We are resilient. When we give ourselves and our children space for conversation, we become more aware of each other and our communities. And we are able to rediscover ourselves. The virtues of conversation are timeless, and this most basic technology, talk, is a powerful response to the challenges we face in our digital age. For the failing connections of the digital world, it is the talking cure. 'Only connect!' wrote E. M. Forster in 1910.

In this wise and incisive book, Sherry Turkle offers a timely revision: 'Only converse!'' Nicholas Carr, author of The Shallows and The Glass Cage.