This reading group guide for All the Single Ladies includes an introduction, discussion questions, ideas for enhancing your book club, and a Q&A with author Rebecca Traister . The suggested questions are intended to help your reading group find new and interesting angles and topics for your discussion. We hope that these ideas will enrich your conversation and increase your enjoyment of the book. Introduction In a provocative and groundbreaking work, Rebecca Traister traces the history of unmarried and late-married women in America who have radically shaped our culture through political, social, and economic means. When award-winning journalist Rebecca Traister started writing about the twenty-first century phenomenon of the American single woman, she thought that it would be a work of contemporary journalism. But over the course of more than a hundred interviews with social scientists, academics, and prominent single women, Traister discovered that the phenomenon of the single woman in America was far from new. In fact, she found that women having options beyond heterosexual marriage resulted in massive social changes, from abolition to temperance and beyond. Destined to be a classic work of social history and journalism, All the Single Ladies is a fascinating look at contemporary American life and how we got here, through the lens of the single American woman.

Topics & Questions for Discussion 1. In her note about the interviews, Traister writes, "when I realized, late in the process, that I had written more than three hundred pages of a book in which only a handful of men were cited, I felt bad" (p. xii). What do you think of Traister''s disclosure? Do you think including more male voices and scholarship changed the book? If so, how? 2. Fredrick Douglass wrote that women would occupy a large part of the true history of the antislavery movement because "the cause of the slave has been peculiarly woman''s cause" (p. 48). Although, as Traister notes, "Marriage and slavery were not equivalent practices" (p. 43), the intersection between the two illustrates how marriage could be used as a means to control a population.

In what ways did slave owners use marriage to both control and further exploit their slaves? Why might women have been particularly involved in the cause of abolition? 3. Writer Dodai Stewart says, "My long-term relationship is with New York" (p. 83). What does she mean? What does New York represent to Dodai? Many young, single women settle in cities. What do women gain from urban spaces? Have you ever felt about a city the way that Dodai Stewart feels about New York? Talk to your book club about the experience. Why did you feel so connected to that location? 4. Traister writes "Female friendship has been the bedrock of women''s lives for as long as there have been women" (p. 97).

How was the role of friendship in women''s lives changed as the age of marriage has been delayed? What have female friends historically offered each other that husbands cannot? Discuss Ann and Amina''s friendship. What do they mean when they describe each other as "my person"? Do you have any friendships in your life like Anne and Amina''s? 5. When Traister first moved to New York City, HBO''s Sex and the City had captured the national zeitgeist. She recalls nursing a "seething grudge" (p. 92) against the show. Why was Traister resentful of the show? Did it change the perception of single women living in cities? In what ways? Traister takes umbrage with Sex and the City ''s reliance on expensive consumer products as symbols of female empowerment. How might the act of buying an expensive item for one''s self be an expression of independence? Compare Traister''s reaction to the show to that of television critic Emily Nussbaum. 6.

Amina Sow says "It takes a lot to qualify a man as selfish" (p. 134) whereas women are chastised for being selfish if they choose to focus on themselves. Discuss the roots of this double standard. How does this double standard contribute to the message to women that they are to blame for their single status? 7. According to psychologist Paula J. Caplan, the combination advent of the birth-control pill and Second Wave feminism created "a strange combination of liberation and disturbing pressures with regard to sex" (p. 217). Discuss this statement.

How did attitudes toward sex change with the invention of the birth-control pill? What are some of the pitfalls that women experienced as a result? 8. According to Traister, Gloria Steinem''s "most powerful gift was her ability to synthesize radical sentiments into appealingly pithy, era-defining sound bites" (p. 26). Discuss Steinem''s role in the feminist movement. How did the way she lived her life--with male suitors and a healthy sexual appetite--make her particularly useful to the movement? What was the general reaction to Steinem''s marriage, at sixty-six, to David Bale? 9. Sara, Traister''s best friend, begs her, "please don''t make it sound like the wedding was the end of my story" (p. 295). Why is this so important to Sara? How does Sara''s story reflect a seismic shift in ideals of marriage? Why do you think that Traister chooses to end the penultimate chapter of All the Single Ladies with this statement? 10.

Discuss the impact that Anita Hill had on the national discourse. How did her allegations against Clarence Thomas lead to a dialogue about sexual harassment? How was Anita Hill treated by the Senate Judiciary Committee and the press? What was the effect of bringing up her status as a single woman? 11. In June 2013, The Defense of Marriage Act was overturned by the Supreme Court, enabling gay and lesbian couples to marry. Traister notes that the successful fight of homosexual couples to enter an institution that many women are struggling to distance themselves from only appears counterintuitive. Do you agree? Why may gay couples want to partake in the institution of marriage? What makes gay marriage so radical, according to Traister? 12. How does Traister define "hookup culture"? Contrast the media depictions of hookup culture with the reality that Traister outlines. Why do you think that there is such a stigma against hookup culture today? 13. Traister writes, "Having a baby is its own way of exerting control over the future" (p.

200). How does having a child give a mother a sense of control? Why might women make the choice to have a child out of wedlock? Describe some of the ways that single mothers have been vilified by popular culture. Do the arguments made against single motherhood have merit? Explain your answer. Enhance Your Book Club 1. Traister writers, "Austen''s novels had been as much ambivalent cries against the economic and moral strictures of enforced marital identity for women than they were any kind of reassuring blue print for it" (p. 7). Read one of Jane Austen''s novels with your book club and discuss it within the context of Traister''s statement. In what ways does Austen''s writing condemn the institution of marriage? 2.

That Girl starring Marlo Thomas and The Mary Tyler Moore Show were groundbreaking at the time they premiered. Watch old episodes of the shows with your book club and discuss what made them so revolutionary? If you watched them when they initially aired, discuss if your perception of them has changed. If it has, in what ways? Are there any television shows today that are similarly groundbreaking? What are they? 3. In a commencement address at Wellesley College, writer Nora Ephron recalled how she and her classmates "weren''t meant to have politics, or careers that mattered, or opinions or lives; we were meant to marry them" (p. 65). Read some of Nora Ephron''s work and discuss the feminist aspects of it. How is her reaction to the pressure to marry reflected in her writing? 4. To learn more about Rebecca Traister, read reviews of All the Single Ladies , and to find out if she''ll be in a city near you, visit her official website at www.

rebeccatraister.com. A Conversation with Rebecca Traister You thank "all those [you] interviewed, on and off the record, who were so generous with their stories" (p. 312). Can you tell us how you found your subjects? How did you ensure that you had a diverse cross section of women who were contributing to your research? At first, I went through colleagues and friends who brought me their own colleagues, friends, and friends of friends. I interviewed many people who had written or spoken publicly about living singly (which is part of why, as I acknowledge in my introduction, there are more writers represented here than there are in the real world). I put out feelers in specific areas of the country--the south, the west. Especially as I got deep into work on the book I simply began talking to people everywhere I went; I interviewed women I met on buses and in airports and on the subway.

And then, I worked with a remarkable researcher, Rhaina Cohen, who was more than ten years younger than I and went through completely different channels. She tracked down dozens of subjects from around the country. Was there anything you found particularly surprising while conducting your research? Can you tell us about it? As I describe in the book, the richness of the history of single women in America came as a surprise to me. I went into this project thinking I was writing a book of contemporary journalism and wound up writing a book that covers an enormous amount.