Introduction The Secret of Love Unending If you were eight months pregnant, you probably wouldn''t consider it a blessing to live an hour and a half away from the hospital where you would need to deliver your baby. But I did, because that''s what brought me to my parents'' house that night -- the night I found out my dad''s secret. My parents live about fifteen minutes from the hospital where I would be delivering my third child, Jaxton. The hospital has a neonatal intensive care unit, and due to some personal risk factors, we knew a NICU stay might be likely. I didn''t want to go into labor and have to make the long drive to the hospital. I need to mention that I live in the middle of northwest Oklahoma, and there are mostly fields and two-lane roads between my house and Oklahoma City. I had this fear that I would deliver my baby in the middle of nowhere next to a wheat field with an audience of grazing cows nearby. So it seemed like a good idea to take my other two children -- Kolton, who was four, and Kadence, who was three -- and stay with my parents as my due date got closer.

My husband, Jared, had to stay home and work, but he was prepared to come running the minute I called and said it was time. My dad and I were the only two people in the living room that night. It was about nine thirty, and my mom was putting my two little kids to bed in her guest room. As I sat there with my dad, I couldn''t help but reflect on everything that had led to that moment. It had been an exhausting eight months. I had not only been growing a baby and taking care of my family. I had been growing an online women''s ministry, through all forms of social media, with a million monthly readers and forty thousand followers across the globe. I had been keeping up with thousands of e-mails and messages while also trying to keep up with two busy preschoolers.

Every area of my life had felt overwhelming some days. I hadn''t planned to take on the enormous responsibility of caring for the hearts of so many women online, but God wasn''t surprised. He knew exactly what would happen when I sat down at my computer eight months earlier. I thought I was writing a simple letter on my blog to other overwhelmed women struggling to balance the responsibilities of being a wife and a mom. But God knew I would wake up the next morning to find that my post had been shared around the world, forever changing lives (my own included). He knew my online readership would go from a thousand followers to forty thousand in just a few months. He knew that nearly ten million people would read those words and say, "I feel the same way." And God knew what they would need next.

He knew they would need to know my dad''s secret. I had received countless messages from women saying, "Yes, I struggle to be both wife and mom. But what do I do about it? How do I balance both? How do I remember to be a wife when it takes all I''ve got to be a momma?" I wanted to give them a simple answer. I wanted to provide a solution that would change their marriages and restore their hope. But I didn''t have it. I didn''t know what to tell them, because I was struggling myself to figure out how to keep the love in my marriage fresh. But as I looked over at my dad that night, I thought maybe, just maybe, he could tell me what to do next. My dad is one of the most patient men I know.

Actually, he is the most patient man I know. I have never heard him raise his voice to anyone, including my mom and my sister and me. He forgives quickly. He loves deeply. And he is always rational and purposeful with his words. Most of what I know about God and His love for me, I learned from and experienced through my relationship with my dad. This is why I knew I could trust my dad''s advice about marriage. It is because of the way he has treated my mom for nearly forty years.

I can''t think of a single time my dad was angry with my mom for more than a few moments, and I can''t think of a single time he was mean. He has always been a wonderful example of a godly husband and father, and I have always been able to go to him for advice about anything. I remember sitting in the living room looking at him that night and saying, "Dad, what do I tell them? How do I help these women rediscover their marriages in the middle of everything else? How do I help them fall back in love? What do I say to the women who feel as if too much time has passed, who fear it is too late?" He and I knew that my desperation to find an answer was about more than my pregnancy hormones. It was about saving marriages and healing broken families. It was about giving honest advice to husbands and wives before many even realized they needed help. It was about helping women just like me turn toward their husbands when they feel that so many other things are pulling them away. What my dad said next changed my life. Sitting across from me in his wingback chair with a late-night cup of coffee in his hands and with the only light coming from the lamp over his shoulder, he leaned in as if to tell me a secret.

"Becky, just tell them to do what I do," he whispered. I was curious. What secret had my dad been keeping for the last thirty-seven years?! What was his trick to keeping love and joy and peace in his heart all the days of his married life? What do you do, Dad? I thought, but he continued before I had the chance to ask. He looked over his shoulder to make sure my momma wasn''t coming, and with a twinkle in his eye and a sly little smile, he whispered, "Every day when I wake up, I tell myself it is the first day I am married to your mom." He waited for me to catch the truth behind his words, and he flashed a grin when he saw the light bulb come on for me. He nodded. It was as if he knew I was beginning to understand how powerful it would be to live that way. How transformative.

How revolutionary. "Becky, if every day I wake up and tell myself that it is the day I married your mom, then it changes everything. She is just my bride. She is the woman I fell for, and she doesn''t have to prove a thing to earn my love. It''s a new start every day. There isn''t a yesterday full of hurt or offense. There isn''t a need for forgiveness. There isn''t anything I need to overlook.

There isn''t a list of things I''m ''counting'' against her. There isn''t a chance for space to separate us or for us to feel as if we are an old married couple. It''s just new love every day." And there it was. My dad''s secret. The love that my dad shows my momma is an endless sort of love. A love that doesn''t seem manufactured. It is limitless, but I had never understood it.

I had never understood how he could love so effortlessly, forgive so easily, and live so joyfully. But the reason was right there in front of me -- spoken out loud for the very first time. For the last thirty-seven years, my dad has daily made the decision to live as if he were a newlywed -- and that attitude has made all the difference. That night I sat up for a long time after everyone else had gone to bed. I couldn''t stop thinking about my dad''s words and my relationship with my husband. For so long I had been busy with everyone and everything else. I had needed help with our kids, but I had wanted it my way and on more than one occasion had resolved to do things myself to get them done "right." I had pushed Jared away without realizing it, and as he withdrew further, I was frustrated that he didn''t seem to love me the way he used to.

I was mad about little things that seemed to build up into much bigger things. I was hurt by little ways my husband made me feel as though he didn''t value my work or my time. And I was tired. I didn''t know how I was ever going to give any more of myself when I felt as though I was already giving everything I had. To be honest, I wasn''t sure we could ever again experience what we had when we first fell in love: that newness of what it meant to be fully caught up in each other. I wasn''t sure I could be the best wife when I was so busy trying to be the best mom. On top of it all, as I thought about my dad''s advice, I realized I had been waiting for Jared to love me first. I had been waiting for him to be affectionate or compassionate or considerate so I could respond.

I had asked myself over and over, "Why doesn''t he just ." I kept thinking how I wanted Jared to change. The answer my dad had given me for the women who read my blog ended up being what I needed to hear the most. My dad''s advice was for me just as much as it was for anyone else. But I wasn''t sure I wanted to love my husband as I did on the day we married. On our way home from the ceremony, I think we argued about where we were going to stop for gas. For me, the time when love came easiest was long before marriage. Love came easiest in the very beginning of our relationship.

I suppose that is why they call it falling in love. It doesn''t take much effort. If I wanted to challenge myself to love my husband the way my dad loves my mom, I had to go back to the beginning -- the very beginning. I had to go back before kids, back before marriage, back to those early days when it all began. Truly, time and children have a way of changing every area of our married lives. But what if we could rekindle that fresh sort of love? What if we could love our husbands first? What if we could change the climate of our marriages by treating each day as though it were the first day we fell in love? We might not be able to go back to the beginning, and we might not even want to. The lessons we have learned in the time that has passed are invaluable. But what if we could couple the lessons we''ve learned in our m.