We have to talk. For many men, these are the four worst words in the English language, especially when theyre uttered by a female partner. But it doesnt have to be that way, argue Samuel Shem and Janet Surrey in their pathbreaking and practical new book. Male relational dreadthat all-too-familiar reaction set off by womens relational yearningscan be tamed, and in its place can emerge true satisfaction for men and women.To demonstrate how this is done, Shem and Surrey take us behind the scenes of their popular workshops. We hear couples speak intimately about anger, guilt, resentment, shame, and sex. We watch them wrestle collectively with the gender divide in their relationshipsthe deep disconnects, or impasses, that reflect the vastly different developmental paths men and women have traveled. We see couples learn to bridge the poles of dread and yearning, to emerge from isolation into mutuality.

We witness their moments of sadness, humor, and, ultimately, discovery.Filled with moving stories of real people struggling with real problems, We Have to Talk shatters the rules and offers dramatic proof that men and women are not from different planets after all. It is certain to be seen as the relationship book for the new millennium.