Gone are the days when the Christmas run-up meant December 1 onwards. Nowadays no arbitrary date is too early (or too late) to start celebrating the most important event on the calendar. Wherever you start, suddenly you're back at 25 December. Roy Wood famously wished it could be Christmas every day. Well, old sparkly beardie friend, you got your wish, and here's a small but perfectly formed guide to help you navigate your way through the tinsel-topped mountains of decorations to the gift that keeps on giving. The Bluffer's Guide to Christmas will help you get the most value from Christmas at the least cost to your wallet and sanity. It will teach you everything you need to know and say about the origins and evolution of the biggest religious feast of them all (in case it should be forgotten). But, most importantly, it will see you safely through the Holy Festival of shopping and indigestion just in time to prepare you fully for the next one.

Let the party begin! (Can we open our presents yet Mum?).