How do you live with the pain of watching someone you love suffer from addiction? How do you cope with the grief of losing them especially when your job is to make people laugh every day? Comedian Rickey Smiley has dealt with these immensely difficult questions for years--first with his father, then with his son. Both battled drug addictions. Both died from overdoses. Both left Rickey weary and wounded. Far from healed, Rickey has learned how to find moments of peace. He's practicing how to hold the good with the grief, the past gifts with the present heartache, the hope with the hurt. It's the "sideshow" he's living. It's anything but a smooth path, but he's on it, and he's moving forward.

And he invites you to come with him. Join a fellow hurting soul as he sits with his trauma, leans into therapy, and relies heavily on his faith and Scripture, which give him solace and strength. Rickey and his story will help you: Feel seen and know you are not alone Process your pain and manage resentment and grief Invite God's strength into your weakness Find a way forward and move toward peace "This book is for those who know the weight of grief, who I can show the light of God. It is for those millions of families whose child or spouse or sibling is battling for their life against addiction, and want to know that others have walked this path too. It is for my own peace, because when I am in service of others, as God has directed me, I am fulfilled." - Ricky Smiley.