A hilarious, quirky, and unflinchingly honest memoir about one young woman's terrible and life-changing decisions while hoping (and sometimes failing) to find herself, in the style of Never Have I Ever and Adulting . Join Dana Schwartz, Internet darling and delusional narcissist, on a journey revisiting all of the terrible decisions she made in her early twenties through the internet's favorite method of self-knowledge: the quiz. Part-memoir, part-VERY long personality test, CHOOSE YOUR OWN DISASTER will ask the reader to make the decision of what to do when.A moody, critically acclaimed novelist sends an Uber to bring you to his place at midnight; .You're too embarrassed to tell the nice woman doing your bikini wax that she left a strip of wax gluing your butt cheeks together; .It turns out the guy you've been dating has Christian-Grey-style restraints on his bed and a drawer full of leather; CHOOSE YOUR OWN DISASTER is a manifesto about the millennial experience and modern feminism and how the easy advice of "you can be anything you want!" is actually pretty fucking difficult when there are so many possible versions of yourself it seems like you could be. Dana has no idea who she is, but at least she knows she's a Carrie, and a Slytherin, and a Raphael, and a Belle, and a Brown University, and a Patton. And yes.

it will be written in the second person.