I could tell immediately that it was a safe place: a three-sided rock outcrop about fifty yards square with walls twenty feet high on two sides. A ten-foot tall acacia stood in the center, its red bark and green leaves stood out from the ground of small grey stones and sand. I limped into the patch of shade the cat claw leaves threw off and sat down. Out of the sun''s clutches, my mind shifted to my scratchy throat, which felt like it was tightening inside itself. I remembered the choice Yucca stalks from Tree Canyon that I had stuffed in my pack that morning. My orange pack was beside me on the sands, and I opened it up to pull out the stems. But the heat of my morning search had dried them to pointed brown crisps. Exasperated, I tossed the burnt stalks to the ground, put my head on the pack and fell asleep.

I was back at my desk and pushing papers around the desk. I couldn''t find the document I needed. Remembering it was in the file cabinet behind me, I leaned on the desk to get up. But I was unable to stand. Opening my eyes, I saw my hand on sandy gravel. I was facing a rocky wall. I remembered where I was. The shadow of the Acacia had pulled back, and the canyon was a radiator.

The sun burned. I couldn''t stand, I reached for my hiking stick, propped myself up, grabbed my orange pack, dragged it twenty feet and shoved it into a black stripe of shade along the cliff wall. I laid down with my neck on the black waist pad and feel asleep. Sunday Afternoon The friendly old camper noticed that the day hiker who''d parked nearby on Friday had not returned and became concerned. He flagged down a Park Ranger''s car, and the Ranger, Melanie Lloyd, informed Ranger Dan Messaros, the head of the Park Rangers'' criminal investigations unit. Melanie notified my wife that my car had been found and that it was in Black Rock Canyon Campground. According to witnesses, I had left it there on Friday afternoon, and had not returned. Rangers asked for a picture of me to be e-mailed, so they could post it on bulletin boards in Black Rock Canyon.

Ms. Lloyd sought Nicole''s help to begin an extensive series of interviews with anyone who might know my habits and whereabouts; Melanie also requested phone numbers of hiking buddies. She needed proof of ownership of my car and approval to search it in order to determine whether I had been a victim of foul play or to find a clue to my destination, such as a map. From pings on my phone, rangers would contact the last people I had spoken to, in case I might have told them where I was. Ranger Jeffrey Ohlfs was Incident Commander in charge of the rescue effort. He authorized a "hasty search" of the area by members of his staff and all the trails in Black Rock Canyon closed so that his people could comb the pathways issuing from the parking lot. At a large table downtown, men were arguing about money. It was late afternoon.

I wanted to change my seat because sunlight was hitting my face over the shoulder of the guy in front of me. There were no seats available on the other side of the table. "This owner is too cheap to put in blinds." The sunlight got brighter and hotter. I squirmed around in my chair and rubbed my shoulder against a rough surface. I woke up in pebbled sand against a rock cliff, with my chest and shoulders covered by a merciful black shade. I would have gladly returned to the table. The canyon was lit by mid-day sun, the grey ground had turned white hot, and a wall of amber stone shone at me from forty yards away.

My boots were five yards from me, spread apart, turned over on their laces. They sat on small runnels in the sand a few inches deep, tiny tracks of my sliding feet. I shoved my orange pack behind me and grabbed my stick. Without lifting my body, I pushed against the stick, and slid into the shifted shadow as my eyelids closed. The sky weighed on my chest but I struggled to my elbows and searched for my place in the landscape. I''d slid from where I''d been, chasing the shade. Miles of scorched landscape surrounded me. Black pebbles, blackened creosote plants and yellowed scrub grass.

The sun had moved the cliff''s shadow. I dragged myself along and feel asleep. In the projects on the Lower East Side, my Dad was lying on the couch and light came through the window. I was happy to see him there because he usually wasn''t around. It was warm, and he didn''t need a cover. A breeze from the East river moved the curtains. His bald head was on the pillow. His big hairy chest moved up and down.

He looked like a happy bear. I had never seen him like that. I decided to leave the couch I was on and lie down next to him. I walked over and laid down alongside him. He was much bigger than me, and I didn''t take up much room. I fit into the space away from the window; he was on the rest of the couch, closer to the breeze. My legs only went to his waist. He kept sleeping.

I looked over his chest out the window and saw the daylight. The room was cozy. I started to fall asleep. His snoring did not bother me. As I was falling asleep, I moved closer, resting on his arm, and putting my head on his hairy chest. Just above the rim of his T-shirt. He jostled around and without opening his eyes said, "Get out of here." He lifted me in the arm I was on and threw me in the air.

As I sailed across the room, I knew he didn''t care where I landed. I woke in the canyon. The white heat was gone. I tried to get up but my right leg buckled, so I held my stick and pushed down, using my left leg to stand, dragged my right alongside. Limping, but I had not lost my legs on an open arroyo. I limped in my stocking feet to a flat rock twenty yards away in the middle of the enclosure and sat on the two-foot high perch. From there, I could see the wide basin. From that perch, again I surveyed my situation.

I''d be found one day, dead or alive. Out of the elements I could survive several days. My phone was long dead. The clip of a ballpoint hung on the pocket of my short sleeve shirt. I searched for paper in my pack. I took off my hat and tested my pen on the inner lid and it worked, so I began a letter to my wife and daughter. "Dear Hilary and Nicole I love both of you not sure if I can make it out of here. I made a wrong turn and didn''t take enough water.

Collect the $75,000 from Andrew and the life insurance." Encouraged by my ability to communicate, I expanded my instructions: Give my love to Gary, Jerry, Jeff, John Kaji, Harold, Mark Moniz, Tyson, Rabbi Debra, My Brother, Sister, Chris Cooney, Steven and Felisa. Writing the names of my friends, I felt better. As each name brought a different memory, my mind separated from the alone-ness of my body on the rock. Many of my friends had never met each other, and I began to plan. "My funeral will be a wake. Have the downtown poet Richard McDowell recite a poem." Now, I became encouraged there might be a tomorrow.

With the nylon hat turned over, the inside lid was perfect to setup a calendar chart, I put some straight lines across the inside of the rim and listed what had happened so far leaving spaces for future days. On the top line, "Friday, I got lost in the wilderness and slept in a cute little canyon." "Saturday, couldn''t get back and slept under a fir tree "Sunday, I found this place A horse fly sat watching as I wrote. He had found me under the clam shell rock, and followed me across the fifty yards to this outcrop. He had attached himself to my shoulder beneath the acacia. Each time I dragged my body into the shadow during the long afternoon, he lifted off my chest a few inches, buzzed a small loop in the air and landed again on my chest. When I had gotten up from my last dream, he followed me over to the flat rock and sat there while I wrote messages to my wife and daughter. Most flies I would brush off, but I didn''t feel like flicking my wrist at this fly.

I lifted my pen and clicked the release. The point withdrew. I placed the pen in my shirt pocket and stared at the fly sitting next to me. I''d come back to my friends later. The sky changed again. The sun disappeared behind the sheltering walls. I put the hat on my head, and leaned on my stick to lift myself off the rock. My companion took off and stayed in the air behind me.

My legs buckled worse than before. Mom stood between my brother Joe and me, with her cane supporting her. We were on the wooden piers where trawlers brought in their hauls. The black wall of a ship with slimy seaweed stuck in the wooden planks of its bow, slid in as sailors threw ropes down to tie to the posts. The East River was green and choppy. The place smelled like salt and rotten fish. We were above the boarded stalls where she bought the whitefish and pike that Russian Jews used to make Gefilte Fish. We turned away from the boat and went across the pier.

My brother held one of Mom''s hands, and she moved her cane with the other. We turned sharp left onto a slippery gangplank to the fishmonger stalls, when I heard her scream and saw her lose the grip of my brother''s hand. Her black coat lifted and her bad leg buckled out from under her. In a few seconds, she''d slid ten feet below us. "I can''t get up. Go get somebody," she told my brother. I was so afraid for her, and I sat next to her, repeating, "Are you okay Mommy?" People streamed past us from the stalls carrying fish wrapped in newspaper. I explained to them, "My Mom fell.

My brother went to get somebody." A lady turned her head, made a sad face and said, "Someone will be here soon," but then she walked away, up the slippery plank, like the rest of the people. I sat a long time with the river gurgling into the posts above me. My brother returned with a strong man in a navy-blue pea jacket. He lifted my Mom, carried her back to the street and hailed a cab. I stuck my ear inside the door jamb of my parent''s room that.