What happened to the child who sat in the synagogue squished between his grandparents as God s love poured in as sunlight through the stained glass window. What events, people, and institutions caused this God-intoxicated child to becomeredefined as suspicious, angry, and increasingly paranoid even during his lifelong dialogues with God? Like many minority children and young adults he is overwhelmed and confused and develops self-hate, which morphs into anti-Semitism - rejection of his own group. Bill Fein s life from Orthodox Judaism to atheism will not mirror everyone s, but his struggle to find an identity among people who see him asdifferent is, to varying degrees, every human s dilemma.