A fundamental assumption in most of the literature on leadership is that a few will need to control the many. This assumption leads to a search for power but with an either/or mindset: if I have power, then others cannot have as much as me or they will be a threat. Organizations, when anxious, experience limited ability to learn and change. There is an alternative, paradoxical way to understand leadership. A leader is most effective not by controlling others but by defining himself/herself. It is critical for leaders to face their fears, challenge their assumptions and thus be able to change their self-perception. A Leadership Paradox outlines such an alternative view of leadership and provides a model for achieving differentiated leadership.