Message from the Author ix Acknowledgements xx Prologue: Lost and Found xxiii Introduction: Why Feeling Safe Matters xxix Part One: The Illusion of Safety 1 1 What Does Feeling Safe Mean? 3 Stuck in Unhelpful Patterns 5 When You Don't Know if You Feel Safe or Not 7 Unconsciously Unsafe 9 Consciously Unsafe 11 Unconsciously Safe 12 Consciously Safe 14 Four Levels of Safety 16 What Does Feeling Safe Mean to You? 20 From Outside In, to Inside Out 20 Part Two: When the Nervous System Is Nervous 25 2 Measuring Un-safety in the Human Laboratory 27 Skewed Measurements 29 A Changing World - Speed, Noise, Demand, Technology 31 3 Your Intelligent Nervous System 35 Introduction to the Key Principles of Safety Science 37 A Day in the Life Of 39 Polyvagal Theory (Viva Las Vagus!) 44 Evolution of Our Nervous System 48 Regulation, Co-regulation, Dysregulation 50 Habituation to Survival - A Nervous System Perspective 52 Sensing Our Inner and Outer World 54 Meanings Matter 58 Social Engagement (and Wearing Masks) 59 All Alone Together 61 Reality Shows and Frozen 'Perfection' 68 Safety in Connection 70 Part Three: Nature Cures 73 4 The Wisdom of Trees 75 Magnificent Brainforests 79 The Tree of Safety 82 The Roots of the Tree of Safety 85 The Trunk of the Tree of Safety - Life Passages 87 The Crown of the Tree of Safety 90 The Real Work 92 5 Going Back to Our Roots 93 Early Beginnings 96 Weakened Roots 99 Where Do You Belong? 105 Different Types of Roots 112 The Tree That Toppled 113 Part Four: Doing the Real Work (of Finding Inner Safety) 119 Practices and Resources 119 Getting Ready to Do the Work - Before You Get Going 119 Practices and Resources Index 125 6 Create More Resources - The Reset 127 What Are Your Energy Levels Right Now? 130 Press the Reset Button 131 Getting Started 135 Feel Resourced - What to Expect 138 7 Aerate the Soil/Soul 139 Compacted Breathing 142 Learn How to Breathe 143 Practice 1: Notice the Breath 149 Practice 2: Take 5 a Day/Morning Practice 151 Practice 3: Sigh it Out 152 8 Return to the Body - Embodiment Work 155 Practice 1: Notice Your Body Awareness 160 Practice 2: Locate Your Trigger Points 161 Practice 3: Feel Joy and Pleasure 163 Practice 4: Sense Your Environment 165 Practice 5: Take a Walk in Nature 167 Practice 6: Jump Back into Your Body - Heel Drops 168 Practice 7: Discover Chi Kung Shaking 170 Practice 8: Find Comfort and Ease 171 9 Can I Show You Who I Am? 175 Practice 1: Identify Your Inner Perfectionist 180 Practice 2: Mirror Work 183 Practice 3: Let it Out! 187 10 Strengthen the Positivity Bias of the Brain 191 Practice 1: Gratitude for the Present Moment 197 Practice 2: Wake up with Gratitude 199 Practice 3: End Your Day with Gratitude 199 Practice 4: Cultivate Appreciation 200 Practice 5: Soak in Pleasure 201 Practice 6: Morning Intention Setting 203 11 Safety in Connection 205 Practice 1: Prepare Your Heart Connection 211 Practice 2: Meditation for Loneliness 212 Practice 3: Deep Support 214 12 Healing Weakened Roots 217 Practice 1: Explore Your Family Tree 219 Practice 2: Tree Meditation Exercise 221 Epilogue: Return Home 225 About the Author 231 Bibliography 233.