TO THE ISLAND We had dinner in the canteen, at a wooden table and the chairs didn''t move. They were stuck to the floor somehow. Mum was quiet, and my brother was quiet, and when we finished eating a man in a white uniform came over and said that the ship was going through the heads soon and that the forecast was for very rough seas. He was only looking at Mum when he spoke. He told her that it was advisable to get the children to bed as soon as possible. My brother fell asleep quickly, his small body tucked in tight on the top bunk. But I lay awake, waiting for the rough seas. Waiting to see what they would feel like so far down.

Flights and flights of stairs down from the canteen and from the windows that looked out to the sky. Down where we were, there were no windows. Down where we were, there were only fluoro lights and bunk beds. The bathroom was down the passage and Mum had left us. She was upstairs somewhere, upstairs above us where there was air and I wished that she would come back. I must have fallen asleep because when I woke the whole world was rocking and shaking and I was rolling in my bed. Not just from side to side, but up and down as well. Mum''s bed was still made.

She wasn''t there. When I tried to get out of bed, I fell over and was sick on the floor. My brother was looking at me, his hands stuck fast around the railings of the bunk bed, his face white like death. ''Where''s Mum?'' he asked, but I didn''t know. He got down somehow, down from the bunk, and he didn''t fall. He stood holding on to the bed as the room turned over and over and he got a towel off Mum''s bed and put it over the vomit on the floor. He helped me up and in our pyjamas we made it out the door and into the hall. Together we fell against the walls as the ship lunged, and we slowly moved towards the stairs.

Up and up, gripping the rail. Up to the deck where the canteen was. There was hardly anyone around, only a few people sitting in the carpeted lounge, sitting with their heads in their hands. The canteen was empty and I couldn''t tell what time it was. Outside the windows it was dark. Outside it was black. Mum was sitting by herself on a bench attached to the wall of the ship under a perspex roof. We sat next to her, holding on to the bottom of the bench tightly.

Mum said that she would just have one more cigarette and then we could go inside. I looked at her white face and her white hands. She was always sitting places by herself in the night - always sitting by herself having one more cigarette. I told her that I had been sick and she wiped my forehead and cheek and said, ''I''m sorry. I''m so sorry.'' It looked like she was crying. She said it was just the sea spray and the cold. And it was cold.

It was freezing and windy, and the wind cut into your back like you had no skin at all. I could hear the water crack against the ship, feel it hit then hear the spray shoot up. Only I couldn''t see it. I couldn''t see anything past the light cast out on the deck. Out there the world was raging in the blackness. We were going to a new place. We were sailing towards it in the night. An island in the middle of the sea.

An island that was made of stone. It was only the ship that was keeping us safe. Only thin layers of steel and an engine pumping away in the dark were keeping us above the water, which would gladly swallow us all up like we had never ever been. MRS WILSON''S B & B We stayed in a B & B. It was where we lived when we first arrived, after we got off the ferry and off the bus that drove through flat farming land and towns made of stones and old red bricks. Mum used the payphone at the bus terminal in Hobart. She rang a place that was advertised on the information board and made a reservation. Abbey House Bed and Breakfast.

I don''t think it was very far away but we had two big suitcases and my brother was tired, so we all got into a taxi that was waiting out the front of the bus station. The taxi driver was a very big man. He was wearing a clean blue shirt and his buttons looked like they might pop open around his belly. He asked if it was our first time to ''The Island'' and my brother said yes, but my mum said no . I sat in the back seat and tried to imagine Mum being here before, maybe with Dad or maybe when she was young with her parents, but I couldn''t see it. I didn''t know this place. We weren''t in the taxi for long. We went up a steep hill and then around some curved streets and we were there.

Battery Point. There were old houses, wooden houses, bare stone houses on the narrow streets, but they all seemed empty, deserted and nothing moved. The sky was grey. We stopped on a corner by a sign that said Mona Street . ''You will be able to walk to the market from here come Saturday,'' the taxi driver said. He got out of the car and helped Mum with our suitcases. Mrs Wilson owned the B & B. She made my brother and me a cooked breakfast every morning and we ate it at the breakfast bar that looked out to the rose garden - a cottage garden.

It was a cottage, the B & B, an old wooden cottage with a white picket fence and everything. It was just about the nicest place I had ever lived, except that we didn''t really live there. We were just staying there. I liked staying there. We stayed in a guestroom for a week and then we moved to a room at the back of the house that Mrs Wilson let us have for free. She told my mum that it was just until we got on our feet, until we got settled. I didn''t know what that really meant. Mrs Wilson still wanted to make my brother and me a cooked breakfast every morning, but Mum said we should just have cereal and be polite.

Mum found a house to rent three doors down on the same street about two weeks later. It was maybe the worst house in Battery Point. There were no other houses like it - dark and faded, set back in the shadows of the tall grand houses around it. Mum had to let out a room to afford the rent. The front room. The only nice room. My brother and I shared the attic, which had a slanting roof. It was okay except the wallpaper was peeling in parts near the ceiling and the only toilet was in the back garden.

I didn''t like going down there in the dark, or even in the day much. But the garden had a huge walnut tree that our attic window looked out on, and when the walnuts were ripe my brother and I would stuff ourselves, eat them until our mouths were itchy and we could eat no more. Then we would smash fallen walnuts open and scatter them around the garden for the birds, for the forest ravens that were waiting in the tree. But I missed the B & B, how warm it was there, how bright. And sometimes after school, when my brother and I walked home from the ferry, Mrs Wilson would be at her gate, and she''d call us in, tea and cakes waiting. RUN, RUN - KELLY''S STEPS The cold made it hard to breathe, burnt my chest - the stone and the concrete hard under my frozen feet. I''d take my brother''s sleeve and pull him along the empty streets of Battery Point. Early, we''d walk quickly.

Everything still like always - only us. Frost on the windows of parked cars, thick and opaque and stuck fast. Mona Street, Francis Street, Hampden Road. At the end of Kelly Street there were steps down into darkness, the back of Salamanca all crumbled and decayed. Cuts in the quarry stone rounded, worn. A stone fortress, a gateway we had to pass. Run, run - Kelly''s steps. Some of the steps were bowed and stained, and the stains looked like old blood rusted orange with time.

Blood soaked into the stone. We''d go down one step at a time as quickly as we could. Down, down, and we''d try not to look ahead into the dark lane. But at the bottom, in the cold cobbled shadows, ghosts would claw at our clothes, try to grab hold of our hair, whisper in the echo of the stone. Can you help me? Can you see me? Don''t leave me here. I''d pull my brother''s hand hard, and we''d run and run, not even breathe, until we were through. Until we were on the other side. Light.

The open sky. An avenue of elm trees, the wharf beyond. We''d slow down, catch our breath, walk out across Salamanca Place. Out along the grass and under the trees, across the road to the long wooden jetty where we''d stand and wait for the ferry to come. We''d hardly talk. We''d just wait. We''d try not to think about Kelly''s steps, about how the dead pressed up against our skin in that dark place. THERE WAS A MAN The rain came down.

I had my japara on, the hood covering my head and my hands tucked up inside. It was too big for me, the japara, but still the heavy black material kept most of the rain out. My brother was sick, at home. He''d been coughing in the night and was probably on the couch under his doona watching TV, waiting for Mum to get up. It was really cold in that old house in Battery Point and there was no heater. I didn''t want to go to school. I thought about going home to look after my brother, but I didn''t. I just kept standing there in the rain, waiting for the ferry.

It must have been really early - there was no one else at the jetty. I could see the air when I breathed and everything was water. I looked down, watched the rain fall on the slick, black surface of the river. The drops formed perfect circles that got bigger and bigger until I could no longer follow the whole circle at once. Time and space, the raindrops were separate. They fell in a kind of silence, but then the rain got harder, suddenly bursting, and there were too many drops to follow. The whole surface of the water prickled up and became rough and jumbled. The stillness gone.

The rain smacked my japara hard and it sounded like being inside a tent. I turned so th.