Acknowledgments. 3 Introduction Sarah Naish. 3 1 WHY DO OUR CHILDREN DO THE THINGS THEY DO?!4 1 The Unskilled Pilot - (A lack of trust)5 2 The Spider Parent- (Fear of adults)7 3 My Friend the Spider- (Staying safe)10 4 The Automatic Car- (Illogical behaviours)12 5 The Plane Crash (part 1) - (Impulsiveness)15 6 The Deal Breaker -(Breaking promises)18 7 The Land of Now- (Unable to link cause and effect)20 8 The Crumbling Wall - (Hidden disabilities)23 2 RAISING PENGUINS. 26 9 Penguins Don't Fly- (Our children are different)27 10 The Messy Nest (Destruction)30 11 The Girl Who Wouldn't Try - (Self sabotage)32 12 Squeezing the Glass- (Over controlling)35 13 The King of the Castle (Traditional consequences don't work)37 14 Lie Tennis- (Lying)40 15 The Apprentice Who Wasn't Sorry- (Fake apologies)43 16 The Lift - (Unintended consequences)46 3 IGNORANCE IS NOT BLISS - The Unhelpful Others. 50 17 The Goldfish -(Risk averse practice)51 18 The Measuring Stick - (Judgement from others)54 19 The Cart - (Our burden)57 20 The Ostrich Teacher- (Unhelpful schools)60 21 The Snowflake Parent- (Unhelpful others)62 4 PARENTING IN THE TRAUMA TORNADO. 64 22 The Eye of the Storm- (Managing chaos)65 23 The Elephant- (Staying kind)67 24 The Steam Train- (Keeping on track)69 25 The Rude Wind- (Responding to rudeness)71 26 The Conductor - (Controlling behaviour)74 27 The Missiles- (Responding to arguing)77 28 The Cliff Top- (Keeping boundaries)79 29 The Inquiry Lie- (Honesty)82 5 SAFER PARENTING- Therapeutic Responding. 84 30 The Needle on the Record- (Changing our responses)85 31 The Plane Crash Part 2- (Unable to calm)87 32 ACE Detective- (Working out what is behind the behaviour)91 33 The Frightened Dog- (Connecting in a crisis)94 34 Sharing the PIE- (Sibling rivalry)96 35 The Shame Pit- (Overwhelming shame)100 36 The Escalator - (Natural and logical consequences)103 6 WHERE DID THAT COME FROM?!106 37 The Trap Door -(Triggers)107 38 Trauma Pancakes- (Multiple issues surfacing)111 39 The Jigsaw Child- (Why sabotage happens)114 40 The Smoke Detector- (Unexpected behaviours)117 41 The Monster in the Cupboard - (Difficult quiet times)119 7 THE OVERWHELMING NEED. 122 42 The Two-year-old Psychopath- (Lack of empathy)123 43 The Pet Spider- (Being controlled)126 44 Memory Beach- (Memory issues)129 45 The Hand-Grenade- (The 'trouble-maker')132 46 The Car Crash- (Feeling overwhelmed)134 8 FILLING THE CUP.
135 47 The Empty Cup- (Exhaustion)136 48 The Boring Place- (Getting a break)138 49 Eeyore Parenting- (Losing hope)140 50 The Rabbit- (Isolation)142 51 The Empathy Bowl- (Effective listening)144 9 HOPE. 146 52 The Twisty Turny Steps- (Fear for the future)147 53 The Diet Fail- (Having a bad day)149 54 Slides and Ladders- (Overcoming obstacles)151 55 The Trauma Lake- (Foundations for change)153 56 The Hidden Path- (Inspiration)154.