A ghost hovers outside the window of Will Self's study. She is Sylvie, a beautiful young woman who was recently murdered, who wants to influence Self's latest novel before she moves on. Her dead body was discovered by Richard, a twenty-something idler and literary wannabe. He discovers that Sylvie was a member of the W.S.C. - a mysterious cult of charismatic writers who appear to worship Will Self in a strange and secret style. Gradually, he gets sucked into their dark world of absinthe, cloaks and bizarre Initiation rites.

Richard begins to lose his sense of perspective. What is the WSC and what is their relationship to the mysterious Hemingway potions? What did they do to Sylvie. and what will they do to him? Ranging from the present day to 2049, from dictionary rape to literary orgies, from lesbian book reviewers to the Great Vowel Shift, The Will Self Murders is a quirky, comic novel, reminiscent of Being John Malkovich - with the acclaimed novelist, Will Self, as the centre of fascination.