ProloguePrologue ANNA The day my husband moves out of our apartment is also the day Resident Evil Village releases for PlayStation, and you might be surprised which of these things lands with a greater emotional impact. But given that I am not a monster, and that we have indeed enjoyed this apartment together for two years, I do what any woman who''s been given the couch and TV in a divorce would do: I watch with a supportive smile as West and his two well-muscled and newly minted PhD bros carry box after box, dining chair after dining chair, suitcase after suitcase, and the remaining ninety percent of the furniture and decor out to the moving van parked at the curb. I now have hardly any earthly goods to my name, and I guess that''s a little sad--I''ve made great use of West''s stuff over the past two years--but this moment was inevitable. At least I take comfort in knowing that packing my own belongings in two weeks will be significantly easier than this. Out at the curb, West emerges from the back of the truck and hops gracefully down to the street, gazing up at what I''m sure is a highly organized packing job. You should have seen our pantry: truly a work of cataloging genius. My meticulous ex is twenty-eight, infrequently verbal, and one of those incredibly capable men who make complicated things like doing taxes and fixing holes in drywall look easy. I admit, beyond the sexy capability vibe, West is also a fox.
He''s that perfect combination of height and muscle, though I have no idea how tall he is. Is it weird that I''ve never asked? I realize that most tall women are obsessed with how tall other people are, but I''ve never had that itch. I''ve known lots of men--men who are taller, men who are shorter, men who are exactly my height. All I know is that West is chin-at-eye-level tall. At our wedding he had to bend to kiss me. I haven''t thought about that day in ages, but I guess it makes sense that I''m thinking about it now. That kiss feels like it happened a lifetime ago. Two years into this adventure, and I''m better acquainted with the couch he''s leaving behind than I am with him.
Now, standing on the sidewalk, he turns and looks at me, our eyes meeting and giving me a weird, wavy feeling in my stomach, a touch of lightheadedness. It''s not low blood sugar; I ate half a bag of jalapeño chips while I watched him pack. And it''s not the heat; May in LA is the very definition of temperate. I think, strangely, it''s him . West''s eyes are the color of sunlight passing through a glass of whiskey. His hair is that exact same color, but with more sunlight streaking through, and so thick I suspect it alone has ruined me for other men. I tried to paint it once, mixing Transparent Oxide-Red Lake with Old Holland Yellow-Brown but it wasn''t quite right, and as soon as I realized how much it annoyed me that I couldn''t get the correct color of his hair down on canvas, I immediately wondered why I''d become so invested in the first place. With that intense eye contact still happening, West walks over and stops barely a foot away.
For a weird, fevered beat I wonder if he''s actually going to kiss me goodbye. "I think I''m all set here," he says, and lol of course he isn''t going to kiss me. "But if I forgot anything, you can have Jake come pick it up." Jake: younger brother to West (and only slightly less good-looking) and that type of college friend who knows everything about my life at UCLA but has never met my father, who lives only an hour away. Jake introduced me to West; now Jake will be my sole remaining connection to West. The thought makes me a little sad, but then I remember I have the couch and T-virus zombies waiting for me inside. "Sounds good," I say. "You''ve got copies of the papers?" he asks.
"My attorney looked over everything, and it should be sorted, but his phone number is there in case there''s any issue." He pauses, eyes searching mine in a way I honestly don''t think they have before, like he''s trying to see me for the first time. "My number will be the same, of course. Read through everything and call me if you have any questions." "Of course. Thanks for handling that." He smiles, and his face absolutely opens up when it happens. I wonder why he doesn''t do it more.
Maybe he does, actually. I barely ever see him. He''s up before sunrise to go for a run and spends every waking hour at class or the library before hitting the gym around midnight. By contrast, I live at the art studio, or on his--now my--couch. I''m not sure what else there is to say, so I try to wrap this up: "Congratulations on finishing, West. You must be so happy." "Absolutely," he says, digging his hands into the pockets of his jeans. I''ve mostly seen him in basketball shorts and free marathon T-shirts, so the worn Levi''s and cozy gray T-shirt combo is a surprise this late in the game.
I feel a little cheated to only be seeing it now. A tiny strip of his boxers waistband is visible and I work very hard to keep my eyes on his face. "Congratulations to you, too," he adds. "On to new, big things." "Right," I say, laughing. "The world breathlessly awaits my next move." He laughs, too, and the sound sends electricity scratching down my spine. An awkward silence blankets us, but he''s staring directly at me, and I feel like I can''t look away.
This is, like, eye contact eye contact. Like staring-contest eye contact, like studying a series of numbers to be memorized in a spy movie eye contact, and I force myself not to fold first. "Well," he says finally, "I guess that''s it, then." "I hope you have a good life." It sounds trite, but I do mean it. "You, too." West smiles that eye-crinkling smile again, and damn, I really wish I''d seen it more. "Bye, Anna.
" "Bye, West." We shake hands. He turns, walking to the curb to meet his friends, who squeeze beside him into the truck''s cab. One of them rolls down the window, waving at me. I happily wave back, even though I have no idea what his name is. I feel a body come up beside mine and turn my head to see our neighbor Candi in her bathrobe. She''s always in her bathrobe so I''ve long wondered what she does all day. But she makes a killer key lime pie and has loud sex with her husband, Rob, around midnight every day like clockwork, so clearly she''s crushing it.
"Are you moving?" she asks, looking behind me toward the mostly empty apartment. "Oh, I''m moving in two weeks," I tell her. "West just left." I feel her attention move from the empty apartment to the side of my face, and when I smile over at her, her blue eyes are round with worry. "Holy shit, Anna, I had no idea. Are you okay?" "I''m fine," I tell her, looking down the street as the moving truck makes a turn and disappears from view entirely. "Okay," she says with a frown in her voice. "I''m glad.
" She sets a hand on my arm. "But if you need to talk, you know I''m here, okay?" I realize with a gust of happiness that the cover story doesn''t matter anymore. I''ve finished my bachelor''s and have a life of unknown adventure ahead; West has finished his doctorate and is on his way to his brilliant future as something impressive and serious. We both got what we wanted. "Oh no, I''m fine!" I assure her. "I barely know him." Candi stares at me. "What?" I point at the apartment behind me.
"Family housing. He was just a random dude I married so I could live here. Thank you, though." With one last smile, I squeeze her hand where it rests on my arm and turn to go inside. I have zombies to kill. Chapter One One ANNA Three years later If you''d told me back in college that my primary source of income at twenty-five would be working as the night cashier at the corner convenience store, I. well, I might have believed you. Having done a one-eighty junior year when I acknowledged that my brain does not "science" and pivoted from premed to art, I remained realistic about what life as an artist might entail.
Every fine arts major at UCLA has dreams of becoming the next big set designer, costume mastermind, or art scene It kid, but those of us whose ambitions are simply "afford rent and health insurance" are aware we will most likely be waitresses by day and hobby painters by night. So the fact that it''s 12:44 a.m. and I am womaning the register at the Pico Pick-It-Up and not at some fancy party rubbing elbows with the creative elite shouldn''t surprise anyone, least of all myself. But with my dad''s medical bills slowly climbing, my ambitions might have to climb, too. I carefully turn the page of the US Weekly I borrowed from the magazine rack. There are lots of lucrative jobs on display here. Do I have what it takes to be the next big art influencer, someday featured in the Celebrities.
They''re Just Like Us! page? I''m young and know how to wear a T-shirt without a bra. That''s at least half of what''s required, right? I imagine it: Instagram sensation Anna Green caught with a perfectly messy topknot outside of Sprouts! TikTok star Anna Green and her sexy actor boyfriend caught canoodling in front of Soho House! I wonder how much an influencer makes these days and whether it''s worth the humiliation of monologuing into a selfie stick in front of Picasso''s Woman with a Book at the Norton Simon, or the patience it would take to get a ring light positioned just right to draw tiny tigers on my eyelids using on.