Chapter 1: The Five Stories of Christmas CHAPTER 1 The Five Stories of Christmas GETTING TO THE HEART OF CHRISTMAS What image makes you pause a moment and realize that Christmas is on its way? The first robin appearing in the hedgerow? The blurred reflection of Christmas lights in puddles on the road? The scent of cinnamon and cloves? Woodsmoke in the air? A good mood, riding on the shoulders of passersby? We all have our markers, and when we catch a glimpse of one, inhale the aroma of another, and sense the arrival of a third, our brain stitches all of the pieces together and whispers, "Christmas is coming." When I hear the word "Christmas," I see a personal movie reel in my mind''s eye. And your own reel probably starts running, too. But that doesn''t mean we are watching the same show. Therein lies the challenge we face when sharing Christmas with other people. We all expect different things, often without even realizing it. If you find yourself insisting that Christmas has "lost all meaning," it may be that you feel caught up in a story that you consider unimportant or trivial, rather than one you value. Or perhaps you are inadvertently judging other people''s notions of Christmas through your own lens.
This mismatch of expectation and reality can be a real source of stress and resentment at this time of year, and it is the main obstacle we have to overcome in order to experience a calmer, more joyful Christmas. I became curious about which symbols of Christmas are universal, as I thought they may give us something to rally around. As I dug deeper into my research, I was surprised to learn that not one single element of the stereotypical Christmas is invariably applicable. Not everyone puts up a Christmas tree, or sings carols, or hopes for snow, or cooks a turkey, or exchanges gifts, or gathers with others to celebrate. Nevertheless, there is a pool of experiences from which we all seem to draw at least one memory that is closely associated with the season, often related to our senses. The sights, sounds, smells, tastes, and textures of Christmases past linger in our hearts and inform our ideas of what it should be in the future. In the course of my research, I also discovered that the roots of our traditions are deeply buried in legend and lore, and that it is extremely hard to unearth accurate facts about the origins of Christmas. The history of this most famous holiday is littered with so many contradictions, assumptions, and unverifiable assertions that getting to the truth of it all is challenging.
Even the duration of Christmas is up for discussion. Some people start with the lighting of the first Advent candle--four Sundays before Christmas--and run through to Twelfth Night (January 5) on the eve of the Epiphany. Others begin with the winter solstice (somewhere between December 20 and 23, depending on the year) and honor the old tradition of Yule in early January. For yet others, the Christmas season starts with the Black Friday sales the day after Thanksgiving (which falls on the fourth Thursday each November) and ends with collapsing onto the sofa surrounded by discarded wrapping paper on Christmas Day. And some people manage to compress the whole thing into three days of mayhem and indulgence from Christmas Eve to Boxing Day (December 26), based around when the office is closed. Our Christmas timelines, along with our food, decorations, and activities, vary according to culture and generation. Some people love the flurry and bustle of Christmas, while others resent the retail-led nature of the season and would rather spend it in peace. In speaking to people from all walks of life, of all ages and backgrounds, I discovered one salient truth: every Christmas is unique.
Each one is a carefully constructed, complex narrative that has formed as Christmas has whirled across time and geography, down family lineages, through television and social media feeds, and around our kitchen tables. No two are ever the same, either from year to year or from person to person. We need to slow down and get up close to see the complex and particular beauty of each one. THE FIVE STORIES OF CHRISTMAS Everyone I asked seemed to value and identify with at least one of five essential stories of Christmas. These are tales of faith, magic, connection, abundance, and heritage that have been told and retold for generations. Our personal connection to each of them offers a snapshot of what Christmas means to us at a particular moment in our lives. They provide clues to the triggers for our stress and the sources of our joy. They offer a framework for understanding our individual, deep-rooted views of Christmas, and discerning what to hold on to and what to release.
Even more importantly, viewing Christmas through the lens of these five stories can increase our understanding of each other, which can have a monumental, positive impact on our shared experience. By understanding what matters most to ourselves and those close to us, we can organize our gatherings, prepare our hearts, and strengthen our resolve to give and take just enough to ensure a calm, joyful Christmas for everyone. So, with open minds and a stocking full of curiosity, let''s dive into the five stories of Christmas. NOTE: At the end of each of the five stories, I will ask you to reflect on your degree of connection to it and its influence on your interpretation of Christmas. Some of the stories might resonate deeply, others not at all. Be honest, and write what you really think. There are no right or wrong answers as everyone''s Christmas is different. THE STORY OF FAITH The biblical Christmas story,1 which is celebrated in cathedrals, churches, and chapels and acted out every year by millions of small children in tinsel headdresses the world over, might be considered the archetypal Christmas Story of Faith.
It is instantly recognizable from a number of details: no room at the inn; a baby born in a manger wrapped in swaddling clothes; a bright star in the sky. When you look closely, it is a fantastical, powerful tale of dreams and intuition, greed and fear, generosity and wonder, perseverance and joy. Here is a summary of this famous story as I have come to know it, with some of the finer points omitted for brevity. Forgive me if the version you know differs a little. Long, long ago (about two millennia back), far, far away (in Judea, to the west of the Dead Sea), God sent an angel (Gabriel) to visit a young woman by the name of Mary. She lived in the town of Nazareth and was engaged to marry a carpenter named Joseph. Gabriel told Mary that she would become pregnant by the Holy Spirit and give birth to a baby boy, who was God''s own son. She should name him Jesus (which some translate as "Savior").
At the time, Judea was part of the Roman Empire, and the Emperor Augustus ordered a census of the population to ensure everyone was up to date with their taxes. This meant that Mary and Joseph had to travel to Joseph''s hometown of Bethlehem. When they finally arrived, every lodging house was full. After knocking on many doors and being turned away, they finally found a friendly innkeeper who offered them the use of his stable. After such a long journey, the shelter was a relief, and it was there that Jesus was born. He was wrapped in swaddling clothes and laid in a manger filled with hay. On the hills around Bethlehem, angels appeared to a group of shepherds to tell them the good news: the Son of God had been born in the town that night. The shepherds went to visit Jesus, and told everyone about their visitation.
At the same time, a bright star appeared in the sky. It was spotted from far away by a trio of Wise Men, who had read that a new star would appear when a great king was born. They decided to follow the star and pay homage to the new king. The Wise Men eventually arrived at the stable and bowed down to the baby, offering gifts of gold, frankincense, and myrrh. When you dig into the details of this story, there are countless gray areas and seeming inaccuracies. For instance, according to the historical record, the census was held in AD 6, some six years after Mary and Joseph supposedly made the trip to Bethlehem. There are also questions regarding why shepherds were tending their sheep in the fields at the end of December, and why the heavily pregnant Mary traveled to Bethlehem with her husband, given that women were not included in Roman censuses.2 Regardless, the story is undeniably captivating, which is why it has survived for so many generations and spread so far across the world.
It was a fourth-century bishop of Rome who first proclaimed December 25 to be the date of Jesus Christ''s Nativity. Since then, many other church-based traditions and rituals have developed around the day itself, including the lighting of Advent candles, bell ringing, Midnight Mass, and, of course, the singing of Christmas carols. Many famous carols retell aspects of the Nativity story, whereas others focus on hardship, generosity, and a sense of shared humanity in the bleakest part of the year. I will never forget my elder daughter''s first candlelit carol service in the tiny village church, her little heart bursting with pride as she declared that it was "Busy, busy, busy in Bethlehem today." The centuries-old stone building was swollen with sweet voices and a cloud of mulled wine as the carols swirled in the cold night air. While some places still sing traditional carols that date back hundreds of years--such as the sixteenth-century "Coventry Carol"--most of the familiar ones.