A collection of some of the funniest observations ever made on the august institution of fatherhood   "Children make you want to start life over." Muhammad Ali   "Fortunately, my parents were intelligent, enlightened people. They accepted me for what I was, a punishment from God." David Steinberg   "I used to eat quite a lot of fast food. When my daughter, Chelsea, started preschool and she was asked what her father did, she said that he worked at McDonald's." Bill Clinton   "Pay no attention to the statements on boxes that say things like 'For ages 1-3'. The best toy for a child ages 0-3 is a toy that says 'For ages 10-14'. The best toy for a child aged 10-14 is cash, or its own apartment.

" Dave Barry   "I want you to stop doing that. I'll count to three: 1 . 2 . 2  . 2 . I don't know any more fractions ." Raymond Barone, Everybody Loves Raymond   Arranged thematically, every phase of fatherhood is up for comment in this hilarious gathering of all things paternal--from conception to diaper-changing, family holidays to first dates, weddings to bankruptcy. Pearls of wit and wisdom are offered up by fathers who have been there, done that, and have the drool-stained T-shirt.

But dads don't have all the say--the paternal view is carefully balanced by pithy commentary from the family members who put up with them. Fathers old and new will be royally entertained; and if the rest of the family can pry the book out of his hands, they'll gain valuable insights into the workings of dear old dad.