Have you ever done so many idiotic things that you just can't believe you're a functioning human? I sure have. That's why I wrote this book. I'm just a normal guy, but with some funny stories. This book chronicles my challenges with obesity, drugs, and relationships as I ventured into the wilderness of life and self-discovery. While on my journey, I noticed several themes that were contributing to my idiocy, and after enough pain and trauma, I was able to distill them into what I call the Five Life Lessons. Master them, and you'll be on your way to mastering yourself.