War is an intensely personal experience. No two individuals standing side-by-side during the same combat slaughter event will remember it the same way. Sights, sounds, nuances of smell, anxiety, apprehension or outright fear are all recorded specifically in turn by the observing human mind frozen in place; all affected by the totality of each individual's life experiences while rooted in that spot at that exact moment.Some men overcome and react positively, while others stand in mute silence soiling themselves.I went into full combat in Vietnam at twenty-one years of age. I was shot at, shot up, mortared, rocketed and machine gunned constantly during two consecutive tours spanning a total of nineteen months- five or more helicopters damaged enough over that period of time they could no longer fly and others returned to base either holed or with fewer parts than when we left it. I didn't have time or inclination to write a journal of events as the cockpit of my aircraft was simply too busy an environment for such retrospection.I focused on survival instead.

Throw the Balkan conflict plus Iraq into the mix (having also survived every weapon the armies of those nations could throw at you) and it's the makings of quite a mental stew. This is a chronicle of my life experiences, truthfully and without embellishment, as best as I can recall each event.Most written personal histories, autobiographies and the like, focus primarily on positive and/or heroic deeds and accomplishments, downplaying or completely ignoring the writer's internal struggles. I've included similar accomplishments within these pages, but unlike those that have come before me, I'm letting the Readers of this book "IN," hiding none of the turmoil of my personal mental journey. That kind of truth is never pretty.I started this book at the end of 2004. It has taken me fifteen years to finish it. A Reader will better understand why as my journey unfolds within these pages.