: INTRODUCTION : 1. Changes; from child to adolescent : Physical changes : Mental changes : Emotional changes : Social changes : 2. What do teenagers need? : The same as usual - love and attention : A different emphasis - 'helpful attention' : 3. Understanding behaviour : Identifying the link between feelings, needs and behaviour : Behaviour, not the teenager, is the problem : Modelling expressing needs : Using 'I' language : Understanding your own feelings and behaviour : 4. Communication : Everyday chat leading to important talks : How to get out of unhelpful patterns : 5. Listening and talking, negotiating and compromising : Listening is a key skill : Using tone and attention to talk effectively : Giving choices, hearing requests : 6. Whose problem is this? : Separating out our problems from theirs : Learning how to NOT 'fix it' : Giving teenagers responsibility : 7. Points of conflict; : Appearance (clothes, hair, make-up, body piercing) : Manners/respect : Tidiness : Homework : School/truancy : Doing chores : Friends : Food and eating : Time to be home : Use of telephone/internet/TV/games station : Use of car, parents as taxi drivers : Parties and other group activities : Drugs : Sex.

: 8. Helping them fly : The Circle of Dependence : Encouraging independence and letting go : Parental fears and anxieties about letting them go : 9. Looking after yourselves : How to be self-aware and look after yourself and each other : 10. Final word - Do as I say, not as I do. : Looking to your own life, to model how you want your teens to behave. : APPENDIX : Further Help - organisations providing help and recommended reading list.