CHAPTER 1 Horrifying News In Scareville, life was perfectly normal. My friends were witches and werewolves, my house was haunted, and we celebrated birthdays in the best way possible, with scare parties. Until one eerie Tuesday, Mom and Dad ruined everything. "We're moving to Smithville," they announced at dinner. "A human town?! But WHY?" I moaned. "I got my dream job as a haunted relations ghoul, or as they say in Smithville, a human relations agent!" Mom said proudly. "Can you believe it?" Dad shrieked. "We are going to be floating among humans! It's a dream come true!" My parents are obsessed with humans; they read their books, follow their news, and binge-watch their TV shows, but I never thought they would take it this far.

A ghost family living among HUMANS? It's unheard of! Scareville is a very diverse town filled with ghosts, witches, vampires, skeletons, mummies, monsters, and werewolves . but never humans. "Aren't humans scared of ghosts?" I asked, hoping it would bring my parents back to their senses. "That's why my job is so important," Mom said. "We have to bridge the gap between the made-up ghost stories and the real ones." "Will I have to switch schools?" I asked. "Yes, honey boo," Mom said. "You're already signed up to attend Smithville Elementary.

Your teacher is very excited to have you in his class." "Booooo," I cried. "Cheer up, kid," Dad said while he rubbed noogies on my head like the human dads do on TV. "Scareville will always be just a haunt away." "And you're going to love Smithville," Mom said. "I just know it!" I hoped my mom was right. CHAPTER 2 The Reasons She was wrong. Very, very wrong.

I do not love Smithville for so many reasons. Let me count the ways. REASON NUMBER ONE Our new house isn't haunted. It is just a normal house with blue shutters that don't rattle and wooden floorboards that don't creak. It's so quiet here! I haven't had a good night's sleep since we moved in a week ago. REASON NUMBER TWO On our first night here, I threw Mom a very supportive congratulations-on-your-new-job scare party and she totally freaked out. She vacuumed up all my spider confetti and shrieked, "We can't throw scare parties here! We will scare the neighbors!" Which makes no sense because the whole point of scare parties is to scare the neighbors! RIP fun. REASON NUMBER THREE I can't let Cookie out to catch her dinner at night because there's a leash law here.

I don't know what a leash law is, but Dad says it means Cookie has to stay inside unless she's on a leash. She hates that. So do I. REASON NUMBER FOUR I will be the ONLY ghost at Smithville Elementary.