Acknowledgments xxi Conclusion xxv 1 What the Facilitator Needs to Know 1 Introduction 1 Why This Curriculum 1 Values- based Paradigm 3 A Trauma- informed Men''s Curriculum 4 Male Socialization and Trauma 10 It''s Not Trauma 11 Toxic Water and Traumatic Stigmatization 13 Healing Men''s Trauma 13 Conscious Masculinity 14 2 Facilitating the Program 15 Introduction 15 Toxic Water 15 Supporting Conscious Masculinity 17 Considerations for Facilitators 17 The Healing Journey for Facilitators 21 Surface- to- Depth Approach 22 Five Relational Postures 23 Creating and Maintaining a Safe Container 24 Facilitator Self- care 26 Supervision 26 Fidelity to the Curriculum 27 Facilitator Notes and Suggested Dialogue 28 Timing 28 Check- in 29 Breathing Exercise 29 Grounding/Resourcing Exercises 29 Lectures 30 Interactive Lectures 30 Small Group Breakouts 30 Activities 31 Debriefing 31 Check- out 31 Follow- up and Close 31 The Narrative Session Section 32 The Workbook 33 Considerations for Participants 34 Considerations for Organizations 35 Conclusion 37 References 39 Session 1: Grounding and Safety 41 Session Overview 41 Introductions 42 Read Selected Meditation 43 Session Goals 44 Orientation to the Group, Distribution of Workbooks, and Group Agreements 44 Interactive Lecture: Trauma, Wounds, and What Is Healing? 49 The Safety Dance: Triggers and Being Triggered 49 Debriefing 50 Grounding and Safety Exercises 51 Exploring Your Story Activity 54 What Do You Want to Get Out of This Group? 55 Follow- up and Close 57 Session 2: The Man Rules: Don''t Let the Rules, Rule You 59 Session Overview 59 The Check- in 61 Getting Grounded Exercise 61 Resourcing 62 The Safety Check 63 Read Selected Meditation 64 Session Goals 64 Mini Lecture: The Water 64 The Man Rules 66 What Does It Mean to Be on a Healing Journey? 70 Small Group Discussions 71 Grounding, Resourcing, and Safety Check 73 Grounding Exercise 73 The Safety Check 74 Session 3: Toxic Water 77 Session Overview 77 The Check- in and Exercise Rewind 79 Getting Grounded Exercise 79 Resourcing 80 The Safety Check 81 Read Selected Meditation 81 Session Goals 81 Mini Lecture: The Toxins in The Water 82 Small Group Activity and Discussion - Walking in the Shoes of Another 87 Large Group Discussion 88 Grounding, Resourcing, and Safety Check 90 The Check- out 91 Follow- up and Close 91 For Facilitators: Prompts for Shoes of Another Exercise 92 Session 4: Creating Healthy Relationships 93 Session Overview 93 The Check- in and Exercise Review 94 Getting Grounded Exercise 95 Resourcing 95 The Safety Check 96 Read Selected Meditation 97 Session Goals 97 Interactive Lecture: The Woman Rules 98 Interactive Lecture: Healthy Relationships 99 Outside- Inside - Small Group Discussions 103 Creative Activity: Men Inside and Out 105 Sharing of Boxes 106 The Check- out 106 Follow- up and Close 107 Session 5: Trauma: Facing Our Wounds 109 Session Overview 109 The Check- in and Exercise Rewind 110 Interactive Lecture: Part 1 - Overview of Trauma 113 Interactive Lecture: Part 2 - Shame, Trauma, and The Man Rules 116 Kinesthetic/Psychodrama 118 Small Group Discussion - Examining Our Experience 122 The Check- out 123 Exercise: Fight, Flight, Freeze, and Fawn 124 Definition of Trauma 125 Session 6: All in The Family 127 Session Overview 127 The Check- in and Exercise Rewind 128 Interactive Mini Lecture: Defining Healthy and Unhealthy Family Systems 131 Family Systems, Trauma, and the Healing Journey 133 The Check- out 136 Follow- up Exercises 137 Session 7: Beneath the Surface 139 Session Overview 139 The Check- in and Exercise Rewind 140 New Exercise - Progressive Muscle Relaxation 142 Interactive Lecture: More Than Words/More Than a Feeling 145 Creative Activity: Beneath The Surface Collage 150 Creative Activity: Beneath The Surface Collage Small Group Discussion 151 The Check- out 152 Follow- up Exercises 154 Anger Funnel Exercise 154 The Anger Funnel Diagram 155 Beneath The Surface Collage 155 Session 8: The Man Rules, Intimacy, and Attachment 157 Session Overview 157 The Check- in and Exercise Rewind 158 Progressive Muscle Relaxation 159 The Safety Check with Spectrogram Activity 160 Mini Lecture: On Attachment 162 Interactive Lecture: Identifying Primary Attachment Styles 164 Kinesthetic Activity: Five Relational Positions 166 Small Group Discussion 170 The Check- out 172 Follow- up Exercise 173 Session 9: The Man Rules, Intimacy, and Safety 175 Session Overview 175 The Check- in and Exercise Rewind 176 Small Group Exercise: Feelings and Triggers 179 Interactive Lecture and Role Play: The Man Rules and Relational Intimacy Dichotomy 181 Mini Lecture: More on Safety 188 The Safety Pledge 189 The Check- out 190 Session 10: The Man Rules, Intimacy, and Violence 193 Session Overview 193 The Check- in and Exercise Rewind 194 Interactive Lecture: Abuse, Violence, Trauma, and Intimacy 197 Small Group Discussion 201 A Place of Peace: Relaxation and Visualization 203 Kinesthetic Activity: Movement and Music 205 The Check- out 205 Exercise 207 Responsibility Commitment 207 Stand For Peace 208 Session 11: The Man Rules, Intimacy, and Sex 209 Session Overview 209 The Check- in and Exercise Rewind 210 Interactive Lecture: Sex, The Man Rules, and Violence 213 Small Group Exercise: Messages Matter 215 Kinesthetic Activity: Walk The Line 217 Healthy Sexuality 217 The Check- out 218 Grounded Exercise 218 Exercise and Close 219 Session 12: Growing Through Grief and Loss 221 Session Overview 221 The Check- in and Exercise Rewind 222 Progressive Muscle Relaxation 223 Developing Awareness of Grief and Loss 225 Collage Activity 228 Large Group Discussion 229 Small Group Discussion: Grief and Loss Through Safety and Love 230 Mini Lecture and Activity: Spirituality - Relationships and Forgiveness 231 The Check- out 233 Exercise and Close 234 Session 13: Post- traumatic Growth and Resilience 235 Session Overview 235 The Check- in and Exercise Rewind 236 Mini Lecture and Creative Activity: Post- traumatic Growth 239 Mini- lecture and Large Group Discussion: Resilience and Masculinity 242 Small Group Discussion: Recognizing Resilience 245 The Check- out 246 Exercise and Close 247 Session 14: Breathing Under Water 249 Session Overview 249 The Check- in and Exercise Rewind 250 Interactive Large Group Discussion: Revisiting The Man You Want Be 253 Small Group Discussion - The Man You Want To Be 255 Integration Small Group Activity 256 Come Together - Processing Small Group Discussions 256 The Check- out 257 Exercise and Close 258 Narrative Prep Section 259 Session 15: Writing Our Story 261 Session Overview 261 The Check- in and Assignment Rewind 262 Writing Our Story: The Power of Narratives and Healing Men''s Pain 265 Writing Our Story: Beginning the Outline 267 Activity: Motion and Emotion 268 Small Group Discussion: Sharing Your Outline 269 Writing Our Story: Continue Drafting Outlines 270 The Check- out 270 Exercise and Close 272 Session 16: Deconstructing Our Story 273 Session Overview 273 The Check- in and Exercise Rewind 274 Deconstructing Our Story: Exploring Our Narratives and Healing Men''s Pain 277 Large Group Discussion: Exploring Your Story 279 Activity: Full Body Shake Up 280 The Check- out 280 Exercise and Close 282 Session 17: Reframing the Narrative: From Boys to Men 283 Session Overview 283 The Check- in and Exercise Rewind 285 The Man Rules - Revisited 288 Small Group Discussion: The Man Rules Revisited 288 Break with Activity: Music and Movement 290 Small Group Discussion: Creating A Vision - The Man You Want To Be 290 The Check- out 291 Session 18: Framing a Healing Journey 295 Session Overview 295 The Check- in and Exercise Rewind 296 Letters to The Editor - Messages of Resilience and Hope 299 Grounding: Coming Home Visualization 300 Music and Movement 301 Integrating Our Stories 301 The Man You Want to Be 302 Exercise and Close 304.