Shrink Me Today was my first appointment with Dr. Gold, and of course Mom was more nervous about my appointment than me. She went through my closet before school and started picking out different outfits that looked cute, like we were deciding what I should wear to a boy-girl party. She even made me change sweaters three times, and I ended up wearing an itchy mohair one. "I can't believe you're dressing me up for the shrink!" I said, but Mom told me I wasn't dressed up. Then the second I met Julie on the corner to walk to school, she asked what I was all dressed up for. I said I wasn't all dressed up, but Julie said I normally don't wear mohair sweaters and lip gloss unless I like someone. She kept bugging me the whole way because she thought I wouldn't tell her who I liked.

I finally got rid of Julie at school, but then I was walking over to my usual trash can to throw out my lunch when Jason Meyer cornered me in the hallway. Jason always tries to hang out with the popular boys, but believe me, they hate his guts because he makes stupid jokes all the time. Anyway, since I haven't been talking to Leslie or anyone since they made a big deal about the Presidential Physical Fitness Award, I didn't even know about the school carnival this Friday. So when Jason asked me to go with him, I was pretty surprised. I mean, I wasn't planning on going in the first place, but even if I was, I'd never go with Jason, even if I'm not popular anymore.The problem is, I wanted to be nice about it because everyone else is so mean to Jason, but I also didn't want Leslie or Lana to see me in the hall with him. So I told Jason it had nothing to do with him personally, it's just that I didn't want to go to the carnival. It was a big lie, of course, because if Chris asked me, I'd probably go with him, but I figured Jason would fall for it because he's so dense.

But he's so dense that he wouldn't leave me alone about going with him, even though I only made up the lie in the first place so I wouldn't hurt his feelings. Then the bell rang and I had to run all the way to homeroom so Mr. Miller wouldn't give me a tardy. The worst part was, I never got a chance to dump my lunch. That meant I had to smell food in my desk until recess, which made me kind of hungry.When it was finally time for my appointment after school, the mohair sweater Mom made me wear was itching like mad. Mom decided to drive me there because she said she didn't want Dr. Gold to think I was an orphan.

She sure seemed to be worrying a lot about what Dr. Gold might think of her, even thoughIwas the one who was supposed to be crazy. Dr. Gold didn't have anyRedbookmagazines in his waiting room, though, so Mom decided to prepare me for my appointment while we waited. "Try to remember what he says when he explains why you're doing this to us," she said. "Don't forget to tell him that we can't take much more of this, and that we just don't know what to do with you anymore."Finally Dr. Gold came out and shook Mom's hand, and told me to go inside.

Mom smiled and started to say how concerned she was about me, but right when Dr. Gold was about to close the door, she started crying. I told Dr. Gold that maybe Mom should take the appointment instead of me, but Dr. Gold just said it was my session and he didn't want to take up my time. Then he talked to Mom until she calmed down and left. I wish he'd show me how to do that sometime. I figured Dr.

Katz was right about Dr. Gold being so great, but when Dr. Gold came in and sat down on his big leather chair, I knew he couldn't help me. You should see him. He's almost as fat as Dr. Katz."Why don't you tell me a little bit about what's been going on recently," Dr. Gold said in a really quiet voice.

I figured Dr. Katz forgot to tell me that you're supposed to whisper at the shrink, so I whispered to Dr. Gold that I knew Dr. Katz already told him about me, and it was stupid for me to repeat everythi.