Foreword by Alan Shearer Prologue 'Just get undressed for me .' Magnificent dilapidation 'What does your wife do for a living?' Ted and Vi My (dis)continued education Benwell Bill Preseason training: cheating, a bin liner and a slap So Far Away The secret pool David McCreery's hair The Kevin Keegan effect: 1982-84 A plastic pitch and a shopping trip Superman, the squadron leader, and a very angry Irishman The wisdom of Arthur Meeting an idol The man in the white coat 'Did we score that one?' 'You probably don't remember me .' The Gallowgate roar Jack Charlton, a death threat and a missing gun George Reilly wins a fight Once Upon a Time in America 'Is Geraldine there?' The character and kindness of 'Zico' Joe Harvey's knees 'Is that Spandau Ballet?' Shearer - a Newcastle United Legend 'Divvent touch the soup .' One minute you're Steve McQueen . Slipping out of the back door Walking through the front door 'I thought you drove an Aston Martin?' The Kevin Keegan effect - 1992-97 'She is looking at him!' The Young Ones 'D'you wanna go for a drink?' A Newcastle United family The bell rings for round one The weigh-in, scissors and a trip to the post office Maiden Castle Poulet à la compote, a strapping and a grumpy Belgian A waste of time . Gazza and a missing passport Substance behind the style The versatility and timekeeping of Faustino Asprilla The smiling assassin The Fulwell End is always full . Shear brilliance An unhappy manager, a Christmas do and a pink tutu The pride of Cookstown An enthusiastic student A Yorkshire Terrier A Psycho mummy Talking to Bruce Fucking Springsteen The General A fan in the treatment room I Put a Spell on You A Cup final - and a prized possession El Gordo and El Gordito 'They don't eat the green sweets .' Ruining Gazza's diet 'There's always someone with a bigger boat!' A book signing 'Wait until you hear him sing!' A stray testicle, a tough Geordie and a convention of nuns A familiar voice and a kind gesture Ruining Bobby Robson's training session 'You've changed .

' The Pied Piper of the Left Bank A Man for All Seasons Elevation Alan Shearer or Elliot Lee? Bono's glasses The King of Barcelona A dedicated superstar An iconic celebration The humble winner 'It's only a bit of bloody wind .' 'What's my name?' One player, two managers A date with a masseur 40 The Master Chronicler 'Are ye not the trainer for N'castle, like?' 'What will happen to Gareth?' 'Can I finish my song?" It was over. I just didn't know it . A final pilgrimage 'Run for Home' Once upon a toon .