Chapter 1 Seeking Help from the First Shamans "Greetings and welcome, Abuelo Fuego Tataiwari," I say with great respect as the first flames of the sacred fire spark into life in front of me. "Thank you for being with me once again, for enlightening the shadows, for your heat, your flowing energy, your wisdom, and your protection in the night. I offer you the food that sustains you--the fuel for your body and my energy for your mind--for I have a special request of you this night." Yes, Jim, I know of your request. I have been waiting for you to wake up enough to hear this message. I have given it to you before, but you weren''t ready to hear it. I am glad that you have progressed this far in the teachings that you hear when I call. "So you will help me with this, Abuelo?" Of course I will help you.

But you know there will have to be offerReciprocation. As always, I will expect you to be true to your offerings. "What would you have of me, Abuelo?" In order for you to receive the full depth of what I''m to share with you, you must first work more on your energy. Be even clearer, and empty your vessel. First, I want you to stop putting so much energy into thinking of this new lady in your life. "I''ve been working on that, but it''s hard!" This is my time to talk, hijo,1 can I expect you to keep interrupting? "No, Abuelo, (2) I''m listening." This situation with the new love you have found will unfold naturally; there is no need for you to give up so much of your energy to it. Release your attempts to control it.

It will do you no good. Be true; that is all that is expected of you. If you are true, then there''s nothing to worry about. Do you understand? "Yes, Abuelo, I understand." Good. Now, your garden. You have been lazy. The energy of Grandmother Growth will be needed as we spend more time together in the following weeks.

Balance yourself. Spend time with your Grandmother, take better care of the beings that provide your energy. Plant more seeds so the miracle of creation and growth is infused into your being. And one more thing. "Yes, Abuelo." Before you come to me next, I want you to fast for three days and then make a deep sweat in the lodge. I want your energy to be clear and strong so that you will be able to feel all the colors of my light so that you may spread it in the proper way when you write for your people. Go now, and return when you have prepared yourself properly.

"Thank you, Abuelo." And so it goes in front of Grandfather Fire. The only thing you can be is real. The only thing you can offer is your energy in helping to spread the light. There is no asking without offering. That is what makes this relationship so special and so balanced. All of us feel the luminous energy in the flowing flames of the fire. Ever since I can remember, the fire has attracted me and mesmerized my mind.

But it wasn''t until I began living and learning from people that enjoy a happy and peaceful subsistence life--without roads, electricity, and artificial light that I began to comprehend much more about the fire--especially when the fire is brought forth with intention, connection, and the desire for numinous wisdom. That is what the teachers who set me on this path, the Wirrarika shamans, have shared with me and what I hope to share with you. Now you might be asking--is it really possible to receive wisdom from the fire? To actually have a conversation? Could it be true that the flowing energy of the fire can impart divine knowledge? These were questions that I wrestled with for many years when I started participating in ceremonies with the Wirrarika and got to see firsthand how the shamans would "sing the voice" of Grandfather Fire, Tataiwari, and how all the people would go to the sacred fire and speak their truths, ask their questions, and send their prayers. At first, and for quite a long time, I didn''t get it. I mean, I wanted to believe, and I was able to observe and respect this tradition firsthand and see its effects on the Wirrarika, but I couldn''t claim to see, hear, or feel what they did. Then I was invited to participate in a pilgrimage to the sacred peyote desert of Wiriwhere the Wirrarika go to "find their lives" and communicate directly with the Kakaiyeri (3) by entering into their house. And it was there that my relationship with the fire changed forever. In one glorious night, after much fasting, little sleep, a lot of prayer, and surrounded by the luminous energy of that sacred desert and my human companI witnessed the fire rise up and merge with the stars.

In that moment, I understood from a place completely separate from my rational mind that the energy of the fire right in front of me was the same as the energy I could see twinkling in the heavens above me. Then, as I continued to concentrate on this scene, I began to see the image of the messenger Kahullumari, the blue deer, (4) rising on the tips of the flames. It was Kahulluwho taught me to converse with Grandfather Fire. Kahullumari instructed me to release myself completely to the flames. He told me that I was one and the same as the fire, so there was nothing to fear--that the spark of the fire lived in my heart (the electrical impulses that kept it beating) and in my brain (through the firing of my neural pathways). That the fire of our sun, Tayau (the son of Grandfather Fire), was the energy in all the food that nourished my body and kept me alive and warm. To connect with the fire, then, was simply to merge the fire of my human organism with the sacred fire in front of me. All that was necessary to do that was intention.

I will talk more about the intent that goes into bringing forth the sacred fire. But what happened that magical night was that my intent was strong and clear--I wanted more than anything to talk with the fire, to be a part of the Wirrarika ceremony in a way I never could before. I will never forget what happened next, for I started to speak. But what I was saying wasn''t coming from me: it was coming from the fire. The strangest thing was that I could hear myself speaking, but I had not a clue as to what I was saying. The speaking then turned into a sort of chant-song. (5) After I''m not sure how long, the chanting stopped, and I looked up from the fire and across the flames to meet eyes with the shaman that was sitting across from me. In that moment, I finally got it.

I saw the fire alive in the shaman''s eyes. Then his whole body transformed into a luminous and flowing organism of light. He and the fire were the same. I and the fire were the same. I looked around, and all my companions appeared as flowing light. I was surrounded by a circle of fires! Then the shaman (the largest of the flowing lights) began to "speak" to the flowing light next to him. This appeared to me as his light flowing and mixing with the one beside him. They "spoke" together for a time, and then the shaman turned and "spoke" to me.

What he basically said was, "Welcome." Time had no meaning in those moments, so I have no idea how long it lasted, but when my perception of my companions was back to me seeing them as their physical bodies, the shaman again spoke to the man next to him (his assistant, for lack of a better word), who was a younger man and a good friend of mine. The old shaman did not speak Spanish well, and I spoke little Wirrarika, so my friend translated. The shaman told me what I had been chanting through the fire. Grandfather Fire spoke about how I was to be an emissary between the Kakaiyeri and my people-about what my role was to be and what my task was. I was to share the knowledge of the Kakaiyeri with the people. As long as I did that and did not keep the knowledge to myself for simply empowering myself, I would continue to be taught and gain knowledge and wisdom. The shaman asked if I would agree to the terms, and I accepted.

In front of Grandfather Fire and my companions, I had to state that promise out loud, and I did. I see your energy is much clearer and stronger this time, hijo. You have balanced your energetic relationship with Tricia? "Yes, Abuelo, and I have spoken to her about it." Very good. And what of your Grandmother? "I''ve been tending my garden more mindfully; it is starting to look and feel better." Is that all? "What do you mean?" I know you have spoken to her many times in the past. Why, then, don''t you speak to her now, in your garden? "I''m not sure. I mean, I feel her when I work the soil and tend my plants.

I give thanks when I harvest from the garden. I even speak to her sometimes. But in my garden, I don''t hear her speak back--not like I hear you." You must pay attention to this, hijo. Your Grandmother is very wise and speaks only when it is important. I am the helper to what you call Shaman, those that can hear my voice clearly. I am a communicator. She is all about action, creation.

To hear her voice, you must be completely open. But you can do it. In the past, you have heard her voice only in the sacred places where the veil is thinner. Now you must awaken to her in a new way. You must offer her something for her time, for she is very busy. I will let you work that out with her. That is your lesson for today. Go now, and return once you have spoken to her.

"Thank you, Abuelo." The Wirrarika consider the First Shamans to be Grandmother Growth, Nakawé, and Grandfather Fire, Tataiwari. Tat.