Freedom Fly Me to the Moon First time I flew in the plane I was six years old, and my mom had a boyfriend that was a pilot. I remember it was a little plane and I threw up. It wasn''t the most fun I ever had for sure. I never flew again until eighteen years later, after my rescue. The first time I flew in a big plane I was worried that same feeling of nausea would come back from my younger days. The chance to fly in a big plane far outweighed any fears I had, though, and I was looking forward to this new experience. I didn''t want to think about being sick. I just wanted to fly! Having a lot of time on my hands in the prison of Phillip and Nancy''s backyard, I had a lot of time to dream and fantasize.
One fantasy I had was having the ability to fly like Peter Pan. Often dreaming that with a little fairy dust I could fly myself home--Poof! . Tinker Bell, where are you? I would cry. But she never came. I also imagined myself flying from city to city as a flight attendant one day. I thought it would be so much fun to see the world in this way. From London to Paris. Rome, Italy, Egypt.
I have always wanted to see the pyramids. I did get to see the Mayan ruins on a trip to Belize. A group of us went to help a tiny village called Monkey River rebuild after the devastating hurricane that they were still recovering from. While there, we explored a pyramid called Altun Ha which means "stone water." It was amazing and so big. Climbing to the top I felt like a queen. But I digress. I will tell you more of this story later.
This trip was to be my first meeting with Nancy Seltzer. Our need for protection from the media was an obvious priority from the beginning of our recovery. We needed the time to focus on each other and not the constant hounding of the media we were experiencing. Some people wanted to help, and we got involved with one in particular that we thought we could trust. It didn''t end up that way, and we didn''t know where to turn for help after that. Rebecca wanted to help but had her hands full with not only our therapy needs but also dealing with all the agencies and law enforcement involved with the court case against Phillip and Nancy Garrido, our captors. Her brother-in-law, an actor, knew of our plight and suggested a woman that he trusted in the business of public relations. Rebecca passed this information on to me and, together with my mom, we contacted Nancy Seltzer and explained our story.
We asked for her help and, thankfully, she agreed and the rest is history. She did what she said she would and protected us from the media and those who were seeking to exploit us. On the day of my first flight, we were actually met in the airport parking lot by a security guard and taken through a special way to avoid any press that was lurking. My story was still new then and in high demand. I was accompanied on this trip by my mom and therapist Rebecca. Once we boarded, I remember the flight attendant asking me if I was old enough to be sitting in the exit row. How funny she would ask, I thought. She said I looked like I was fifteen.
No, I replied, I''m thirty! She was shocked. I don''t look my age, apparently. Still don''t to this day. The other day I was in Costco. They had the food samples out. I went to take one that looked like a health drink, and the lady at the booth stopped me and said, "You have to be over eighteen to drink that." What? Hello . I''m thirty-five! I also went to a wedding once and during the toast I was served Martinelli''s sparkling apple juice instead of Champagne! I had even put on makeup! Come on, people, I am a grown-up! Anyways, I''m wandering again.
The flight attendant did let me keep my seat. Over the speaker system "Fly Me to the Moon," by Frank Sinatra came on. I looked at Mom, who was sitting beside me, and we shared a smile. Fly us to the moon, Frank, this is our song! That actually helped me to relax. Until we started to accelerate and actually take off. My hands and fingers dug into the armrest. My mom asked if I was okay, and with gritted teeth, I answered "Yep." Turns out, I was okay for the entire trip.
I did some deep breathing and looked straight ahead the whole way. Landing made me queasy. I knew I had to take an airsickness pill next time. Rebecca recommended Dramamine. I have taken it ever since, and flights have become so much easier. I have also found a homeopathic remedy, MotionEaze, that works for me on short flights. Nancy picked us up from the airport herself. Meeting her was like meeting an old friend.
One that felt like I had known forever. Actually, with all the talks we had had over the phone up to that point, I really did feel like I already knew her and, most importantly, like I could trust her. So when we met face-to-face that day it felt comfortable. I knew she had our backs and would do all she could to protect me and my family from the prying eyes of the media. Her two beautiful dogs sealed the deal as they greeted us excitedly in the car. I knew right then she was a friend for life. Later, getting to know Nancy, we decided she needed a nickname. Funny how a certain name can follow you.
"Nancy" is that name for me. Although there has only been one "Bad Nancy," the new Nancy in my life wanted a name that didn''t remind me of the old one. She said as a child she had had the nickname of Nanny Goat for her way of taking care of everyone she loved. So she became my Nanny Goat in more ways than one. We stayed with Nanny Goat a few days. She introduced me to some people that would become very important in my life. One of them was Michael, who would take care of my finances, and another was Dale, who would represent me and my daughters in our lawsuit against the state. Our stay was very productive and a whole new experience of meeting people for me.
The flight back home was scheduled for nighttime, and we were a little late getting to our gate for the flight. As we walked through the tiny airport, I suddenly heard our names over the speakers. "Terry Probyn, Jaycee Dugard, Rebecca Bailey, please proceed to your gate." Rebecca looked scared as she ran ahead to ask them to stop. (Remember, the press was still hounding us. That very day a reporter from a tabloid had gone by Rebecca''s house and asked where Rebecca was. The reporter told her fifteen-year-old who answered the door that he was with the FBI and needed to find her.) Guess what happened at the airport.
No one even looked twice as our name was repeated over the loudspeaker again and again. Funny how I could be in plain sight and no one noticed! I remember that day on the flight home, sitting there holding my mom''s hand as we took off, and she said, "Look out the window." I said, "No I can''t." I didn''t want to be sick if I turned my head to look, and it was scary being so high up from the ground. My mom promised me I would like what I saw. I turned my head and opened my eyes. I realized I didn''t feel sick, so I looked out a little more and I saw diamonds twinkling, shining bright, but not in the sky. They were below me.
Beautiful sparkling diamonds on the ground and me looking high above them. I forgot to be scared in that moment. I had never seen such a magical display of twinkling lights, even more brilliant than the night sky. From then on, I couldn''t wait for my next flight. I still have to take Dramamine, but I enjoy flying more because I remember those twinkling diamonds. Happy memories help when you''re afraid. I always try for a window seat so I can look out over the world. I never get sick of the sight.
I''ve been on many flights now and I''ve even flown all by myself. The first time I flew by myself was actually a pretty fun adventure, even though I didn''t think it was at the time. For a while the thought of traveling alone was really scary. What happened if I got lost? What if I got on the wrong plane and ended up in a strange city? What would I do then? My mom and sister encouraged me to try it but only when I was ready. My sister, again the little one teaching the older one, told me it would be fun to travel alone. She thought I was more than capable of handling any situation that came up. Encouragement like that is what helps the most in new situations and adventures. I got the chance to take this advice and encouragement sometime later.
I was coming back from a visit to my sister''s house. My mom was staying a few extra days, and I was planning on going on my first solo flight. I felt ready to face this new challenge. The flight had a layover in Dallas. I had been on layovers before and knew the routine. The plane was late taking off, so I knew I had to run to my next flight when we landed. To prepare myself, I studied the magazine with the layout of the airport in it. I knew from previous flights that Dallas was a big airport with trains to take you from terminal to terminal.
The first time I was in the Dallas airport the group I was traveling with got on the wrong train, and we ended up across the airport with five minutes to spare before our next flight. I was not going to do it again, especially not by myself! The man next to me saw me looking at the terminal layout and offered some helpful suggestions and helped me plot my course to the assigned gate. I was thankful because I would have been too shy to ask for help. As soon as I was able to disembark, I ran for all I was worth to the gate assigned to my flight. I had checked my luggage, so I just had my purse and made good time. I even had to navigate the dreadful train. I finally made it.