Orientation Session 1 Introduction to the Program 1 Overview of the Program 3 Your Workbook 3 Group Introductions 4 Topics Covered in This Program 5 Group Agreements 5 Our Group Agreements 6 Triggers and Coping Tools 7 Five Senses 8 Breathing and Exhaling 8 Statistics on Violence in the United States 9 Definition of Violence 12 The Social- Ecological Model (People in the Environment) 13 Creating a Container 18 My Container 19 Discovering Your Anger Style 20 Anger Survey 23 Between- Sessions Activity 24 Self- Soothing Activity: Palms Down, Palms Up 25 Part A: Self Session One: Thinking Our Thoughts 29 The Spirals of Violence and Nonviolence 30 Thinking, Feeling, and Substance Use 31 Automatic Thoughts 31 Cognitive Distortion 32 My Typical Distorted Thinking 34 Feelings Inside and Outside 36 The DVD of What I Want My Words To Do To You 37 Understanding Keila 37 Understanding Me 40 Between- Sessions Activities 42 Session Two: Feeling Our Feelings 43 Identifying Feelings 44 Beliefs About Feelings 47 My Faulty Belief 48 Feelings as Clues 48 Intensity of Feelings 49 Emotional Wellness 53 Five Steps to Emotional Wellness 53 Feelings and the Body 54 When Feelings Threaten to Overwhelm You 55 The Observer Self 56 Between- Sessions Activities 58 Session Three: Violence and Trauma in Our Lives 59 Violence in Relationships 60 Types of Abuse 60 The Process of Trauma 61 Calming Strategies 63 Two Calming Activities 64 Mindful Breathing 64 Ten- Point Body Scan 64 Between- Sessions Activities 65 Session Four: The Effects of Trauma 69 Adverse Childhood Experiences Survey 70 The Adverse Childhood Experiences Study 72 The Effects of Trauma and Substance Use on the Brain 74 Risk Factors for Addiction 75 Personal Experiences with Substances 76 Triggers or Activators and the Body 77 Yoga Poses and the Mind- Body Connection 80 Between- Sessions Activities 81 Session Five: Anger and Me 83 Anger 84 Words for Anger 85 Meeting a Feeling 86 The Anger Funnel 89 Anger Triggers 92 Anger- Management Strategies 93 Anger Dos and Don''ts 95 Hidden Anger 97 Self- Inflicted Violence 98 Between- Sessions Activities 99 Session Six: The Risk of Suicide in Prison 101 DVD of What I Want My Words To Do To You 102 The Iceberg 104 My Iceberg 106 Making Life Livable 107 Between- Sessions Activities 109 Session Seven: Fostering Connection, Hope, and Meaning in Prison 111 My Hope- Practice Plan 112 My Safety Plan 113 Letter to My Future Self 116 Between- Sessions Activities 117 Session Eight: Understanding Ourselves 119 DVD of What I Want My Words To Do To You 120 Understanding Keila 120 Understanding My Crime 122 Understanding My Behavior 124 Becoming Whole 126 Between- Sessions Activities 128 Part B: Relationships Session Nine: Our Families 131 Self- Soothing Activity: Deep Breathing 132 Risk Factors 133 Family Sculpture 134 The Cost of Violence 135 Feelings and the Family 136 Unspoken Rules 136 The Anger Questionnaire 137 Wheel of Nurturing Children 140 Between- Sessions Activities 143 Session Ten: Communication 145 Communication Styles 146 Nonverbal Communication 147 Communicating Emotions 148 Group Discussion Questions 149 Strategies for Creating Connection Through Communication 150 Responses to Stress 151 Between- Sessions Activities 153 Session Eleven: Power and Control 155 The Power and Control Wheel 156 Differences Between Women and Men in the Use of Force in Relationships 160 Types of Abuse in Relationships 161 The Violence Continuum 164 Escalation and De- escalation 166 Violence in Prison 168 Using the Time 169 Between- Sessions Activities 170 Session Twelve: Conflict Resolution 173 Fair Fighting 174 Guidelines for Fair Fighting 175 Words, Words, Words 176 Words That Escalate and Words That Help 176 Impulse Control 177 Tips for Impulse Control 178 The Equality Wheel 180 Between- Sessions Activities 183 Session Thirteen: Our Children 185 Nurturing Children in Our Lives 186 Messages About Nurturing and Raising Children 186 Abuse of Children Wheel 187 Patterns of Abuse with Children 189 Our Nurturing Legacies and What We Pass Along 190 Between- Sessions Activities 191 Session Fourteen: Nurturing in Action 193 Parenting and Caregiving Triggers 194 Drawing Our Family Dynamics 196 My Family Dynamics 197 Discipline, Consequences, and Punishment 198 Caregiving Checklist 199 Creating Connection 200 Nurturing in Action 201 Between- Sessions Activities 202 Session Fifteen: Caregiving over Time and with Others 203 Parenting from Prison 204 Our Villages 205 My Village 206 Caregiver Triggers 207 Power and Control and Caregivers 208 Caregivers and Communication 209 Caregiving Chapters 210 Between- Sessions Activities 211 Session Sixteen: Relationships in Prison 213 Relationship Roles 214 Sources of Joy, Connection, and Conflict 215 Power and Control Wheel 218 Creating a Power and Control Wheel 219 Equality Wheel 220 Creating an Equality Wheel 221 Between- Sessions Activities 222 Session Seventeen: Everyday Actions in Our Relationships 223 Common Relationship Situations 224 Relationship Decisions 227 Between- Sessions Activities 229 Session Eighteen: Creating Our Relationships 231 Falling in Love 232 Love and Addiction 233 Contrasting Intimate Relationships and Addictive Relationships 234 How To End a Relationship 235 Between- Sessions Activities 236 Part C: Community Session Nineteen: Our Communities 239 Self- Soothing Activity: Progressive Muscle Relaxation 240 Our Communities 242 Visualization 243 Friendship 248 Between- Sessions Activities 249 Session Twenty: The Importance of Safety 253 Safety in the Community 254 The Four Kinds of Safety 256 Environment and Behavior 260 Safe and Unsafe Environments 262 Safety and the Body 263 Community Maps-- Past, Present, and Future 264 Between- Sessions Activities 269 Session Twenty-One: Creating Community 271 DVD of What I Want My Words To Do To You 272 Crossroads 274 Making Good Decisions 276 Between- Sessions Activities 277 Session Twenty-Two: The Power of Community 281 DVD of What I Want My Words To Do To You 282 Activity: Writing About a Kind Act 284 Between- Sessions Activity 285 Part D: Society Session Twenty-Three: Society and Violence 289 Self- Soothing Activity: Breathing in the Positive 290 Reviewing the Risks for Violence 291 The Culture Wheel 292 Institutional and Cultural Supports for Domestic Violence 294 Working To End Violence 296 National and International Organizations 297 Local Organizations 299 Art as an Expression of the Levels of Violence 300 Transgender, Gender Nonconforming, and Nonbinary Art 301 Between- Sessions Activities 302 Session Twenty-Four: Creating Change 305 Health, Harmony, and Wholeness 306 The Spirals of Transformation 308 Between- Sessions Activity 310 Session Twenty-Five: Transforming Our Lives 311 Visualization 312 The Role of Remorse in Transformation 314 The Process of Transformation 315 Making Amends 317 Forgiveness 318 Between- Sessions Activities 319 Session Twenty-Six: Honoring Ourselves and Our Community 321 The Relational Wheel 322 Respect, Mutuality, and Compassion 323 Are You Becoming the Person You Want To Be? 324 Orid 325 Appreciation 327 Appendix 1: Yoga Poses 329 Appendix 2: About the Women in the What I Want My Words To Do To You DVD 335 About the Author 341 About the Cover 343.