I am a deeply flawed husband, father, friend, and employee who, through faith, is completely dependent on the mercy of Jesus Christ. I have irrational fear of EF5 tornadoes, green peas, and personal bios. I once owned a female cat named Jeri that was a candidate for exorcism. I have the useless ability to spot a toupee (Bob Costas is my next study; look into it), but have yet to figure out how to harness my powers into Bill Gates level wealth. Sometimes I wonder if Stevie Wonder is really blind (Exhibit A is when he caught the microphone that Paul McCartney accidentally knocked over). My most frequent dream casts me back to the glory days of high school basketball.and I dribble off my foot and the ball lazily rolls out of bounds. Science has interpreted the dream to mean you are supposed to buy my book.

Perhaps my greatest weakness is my fondness for cottage cheese. Don't hold it against me.