"What sort of music do you like?" There was a long pause. "Mostly showtunes," I said. "Beg your pardon?" "Mostly showtunes." "What, Oklahoma!?" "Yes." "South Pacific?" "Yes." "The Sound of Music?" "Sort of." He looked at me, a long, hard look. "You deserve to be nailed to the cross.

" Musicals: you either love them or they make you want to kill yourself. Nothing has the power to lift your heart or turn your stomach like Howard Keel singing 'Bless Your Beautiful Hide' or Julie Andrews singing . well, just about anything. This is a book for people who know (or yearn to understand) why: people hardly ever die in musicals, but those who do deserve it; true love waits long enough for an element of mistaken identity to be introduced (especially if one half of the couple is a Nazi) talented women always wind up alone, but have the consolation of the torch song, which in Hollywood musicals is more fulfilling than a husband. This is a book for people who understand that there are few situations in which the question What Would Barbra Do? doesn't have relevance, in a world much better lived to a soundtrack of showtunes.