They threw the book at Bernie Madoff. Now here¿s the book he really needs. Written by acclaimed comedian and satirist Andy Borowitz, the book is loaded with helpful tips, including: The Seven Habits of Highly Effective Prisoners; How to go from ¿bitch¿ to ¿boss¿ in one week or less; Complete prison-slang/corporate-speak glossary; Prison cell feng shui; How to avoid betting backstabbed -- literally; and The ¿Zagat¿ guide to fine prison dining. Illustrations.