"Glenn Boozan is a wickedly funny writer and this hilarious book is a gift to mediocre moms everywhere." - Conan O'Brien "This book is clever and funny and silly, but also truly needed. Buy this book for the moms in your life, so they know that they've succeeded." - Sarah Silverman "Society puts so much pressure on us to be perfect, and these hilariously horrible facts made me feel better about how much I suck. They even made me briefly reconsider my decision to not have kids!" - Adam Conover , creator and host of Adam Ruins Everything "I love this book! It sounds like a song when read out loud, and it's so funny and sweet that I almost want to have another baby. Almost." - Laurie Kilmartin , author of Sh*tty Mom "Great news! You never have to figure out those confusing Babylist registries again because this is THE ONLY gift every new mom needs. It's laugh out loud funny, relatable, secretly educational, and made me feel a lot better about the time my toddler said 'jesus f*ckin' cwist' in front of my mom.

" - Laura Willcox , author of I Am Bride.